Chapter 61
Gu Ximian didn't know how to deal with angry people.
On one hand, it was because very few people in this world would get angry at her to her face. On the other hand, even if such people existed, Gu Ximian's way of handling it was basically to ignore them or walk away. After all, such situations usually involved the angry party finding trouble with her for all sorts of clumsy reasons and excuses, which Gu Ximian found endlessly annoying. Not retaliating was already her showing mercy, let alone responding.
Perhaps, to be more precise, Gu Ximian didn't know how to appease people.
She was now walking anxiously beside Zhuang Chi. After being stopped by her, Zhuang Chi said nothing. She neither shook her off nor held her hand, only quietly starting to walk after a long moment, as if in silent permission. Her hand was still loosely looped around Zhuang Chi's wrist. She hadn't let go when they walked out of the arcade together, and now it felt as if she had missed the right moment. She didn't know if she should tactfully let go, nor did she know if she could move her hand down to hold Zhuang Chi's.
It was just like the response she had failed to give. When Zhuang Chi had asked her if she'd "ever thought of accepting Lou Che," she hadn't immediately seized the opportunity to say something. Afterwards, she felt lost, and anything she said would seem like a helpless attempt to make up for it. Gu Ximian had wanted to speak several times but stopped, unsure of what to do, her chest filled with regret and a panicky tightness.
‘I still think it's better to just say it directly.’
The words she had heard from Lou Che in the Student Council Presidium office kept echoing in her ears. Gu Ximian gave a self-deprecating curl of her lips, which quickly fell again.
It sounded so easy when I was just listening, Gu Ximian thought. But it's so hard to do it myself.
Especially now, facing an angry Zhuang Chi, which made it particularly difficult for Gu Ximian to speak. Even though Zhuang Chi hadn't shaken her off, she hadn't spoken a word to her the entire way—hadn't even looked at her. She only gave brief answers when Gu Ximian tried to bring up other topics, and the conversation would always end before it could properly form.
In any case, at least she hadn't let the person who was angry with her leave alone. Gu Ximian took a small sip of her drink. She rarely touched these cold, sweet carbonated beverages, and drinking it quickly now was a bit of a struggle. Fortunately, Zhuang Chi was walking very slowly. It was strange, really. They were just looking for a trash can, yet they had walked a very long way. They came out of the arcade and slowly made a large circle on this floor of the mall, finally finding a trash can just as Gu Ximian finished the last sip.
Zhuang Chi silently stepped forward and threw the empty can she had been holding the whole time into it. Gu Ximian followed suit. The moment she let go of the soda can, she suddenly felt a sense of panic: she had already used up one excuse, so what was next?
Zhuang Chi, however, was unaware of her mood at that moment, or perhaps she didn't intend to pay attention, and had already naturally started walking back. Gu Ximian had no choice but to follow, feeling that the long path they had taken now seemed so short on the way back. It wasn't long before they saw the entrance to the arcade again. Almost as soon as they stepped inside, they heard Lou Che and the others calling out, probably saying things like, "Where did you two sneak off to?" and "It's too cunning of you to be alone for so long." Zhuang Chi waved in their direction and finally took the initiative to speak, "They're looking for us. Should we go over?"
Subconsciously, Gu Ximian tightened her hand, gripping that slender, fair wrist firmly.
Zhuang Chi stopped walking once more, turned her head to look at her, and waited patiently for her to speak. Gu Ximian felt that, no matter what, she didn't want to rejoin the others with things unresolved. A small crack, if left unattended, would one day become a deep chasm, and she didn't want to see even a small crack exist between her and Zhuang Chi... She didn't want that.
"...The arcade..." Her mind raced as she hastily made a suggestion, "Let's... let's go play other games together? The machines over there are all for shooting zombies. You... didn't you already see them earlier?"
Zhuang Chi didn't respond quickly, and every second of this silence made Gu Ximian a little more uneasy. She was sure that Zhuang Chi had seen through how clumsy her attempt to keep her there was. Therefore, when she heard Zhuang Chi's reply, she was even surprised, jerking her head up to look at her.
Zhuang Chi's gaze was calm. She probably interpreted her surprised expression as her not having heard clearly, so she repeated herself properly, "What do you want to play?"
It was like being granted a pardon in an instant. Only then did Gu Ximian realize she had been holding her breath, and she finally let it out silently. She didn't understand what this feeling of being so easily influenced by Zhuang Chi was called, but she instinctively didn't want Zhuang Chi to see any sign of it. For a moment, she could only hastily point at random. "Let's play that, then."
She took a closer look and only then noticed she was pointing at a row of claw machines.
Should I call this a coincidence or an inevitability, Zhuang Chi thought. Turns out there really is a claw machine scene today.
She stood beside her, watching Gu Ximian, who was clearly very unfamiliar with this machine, stand before it. She tentatively asked, "This can't be played by two people together, can it?"
"..." Gu Ximian showed a rare hint of helplessness. She studied it carefully for a moment before finally saying in a low voice, "...It seems not."
So what were the two of them supposed to do—she had wanted to ask that, but looking at Gu Ximian's expression, Zhuang Chi couldn't bring herself to say it.
It was the same earlier. She had actually been more inclined to rejoin everyone. With more people around, the atmosphere wouldn't seem so awkward, and they wouldn't be trapped in that indescribable silence of being alone together. But Gu Ximian had stopped her, and her expression then was the same as it was now, as if she were desperately trying to think of something, which made it impossible for Zhuang Chi to say no.
Alright. She had indeed been a little angry. Zhuang Chi thought. But perhaps... sulking by herself like this wasn't a good choice; it was a bit too childish. Gu Ximian probably didn't even know what she was angry about, which was why she had been so cautious and at a loss the whole way.
So Zhuang Chi sighed silently and extended an olive branch to the tight-lipped Gu Ximian first, "If you want to play, then I'll watch you play?"
Gu Ximian's eyes suddenly lit up. She nodded, then nodded again emphatically.
As long as Zhuang Chi was willing to stay, that was enough, Gu Ximian thought. She reluctantly tore her gaze away from Zhuang Chi and let it fall on the plushies inside the machine before her, locking onto a fluffy-looking little dog plushie among the dazzling array of toys.
If I can get it out and give it to Zhuang Chi, it should be a good opportunity to apologize.
With intense concentration, Gu Ximian solemnly inserted the first game coin.
"..."
"...It seems very difficult."
In fact, she felt it would be better to give up now and cut her losses, Zhuang Chi thought. From the beginning until now, Gu Ximian had already used up the 30 coins she had initially exchanged for. The little dog plushie that was her target was still lying there securely. Her best attempt had been to hook its head and drag it a short distance upwards, but it soon slipped from the weak claw and fell back down.
How should she put it? The claw on this machine being difficult to control was one thing, and the plushie Gu Ximian had chosen being too far back was another. Most importantly... Gu Ximian seemed to have no talent for claw machines. Although she was approaching the task with a strangely serious attitude, her brow furrowed in full concentration, this attitude was counterproductive. It made her too tense, preventing her from properly adjusting the position.
Now that the game coins were used up, Zhuang Chi felt that letting Gu Ximian continue would just be a futile effort. She looked at Gu Ximian, who was still staring intently at the plushie, then at her hand gripping the joystick, and thought to herself, does she want that plushie that badly? So she tried to offer a suggestion, "...Why don't I call Lou Che over to help you get it? He seems to be quite good at it."
As she spoke, she gestured towards their diagonal rear. The four of them had actually noticed something was off and gathered over long ago, but they didn't dare to interrupt due to Gu Ximian's extraordinary aura. At this moment, they were huddled together in a group. Having been called out, Lou Che straightened up and immediately replied, "Yes! I'm great at claw machines! Why don't I help! Huh? But how would you know that, Zhuang Chi—"
"No."
But Gu Ximian immediately refused, sharp and decisive. She looked over at Zhuang Chi, her voice muffled, "...I don't want his help. That would be meaningless."
Lou Che deflated at once and silently shrank back. Olivia, ever so considerate, chimed in, "That's right, using someone else's help for something like a claw machine takes all the fun out of it! But I was watching just now and I think there's a problem with this machine. The claw is too weak! I saw online that if an appliance is broken, hitting it hard will fix it. Why don't we all hit this machine!"
"What kind of violent theory is that! Of course that's not okay!" Ling Jing jumped out to object, saying earnestly, "Don't learn these things online, Olivia. In this situation, hitting it is useless. We should all work together to tilt the machine and shake it so the plushie falls out of the prize chute."
"Isn't that cheating! The staff will stop us right away!" An Chen decisively rejected Ling Jing's proposal, then raised his head arrogantly. "But Ximian has already spent more game coins on this plushie than its original value. According to unwritten rules, the most reasonable method here should be to directly ask the staff to come over, open the machine, and give the plushie to Ximian. My father knows the owner of this shopping plaza, so the staff should agree to our request—"
"Your method is the most meaningless of all! Do you even understand why claw machines exist!"
...The people behind them started arguing noisily. Zhuang Chi decided to ignore them for now, moved a little closer to the very dejected-looking Gu Ximian, and said softly, "Do you really want that plushie? Should we keep trying? You can have my game coins."
"..."
Gu Ximian looked at Zhuang Chi, a hint of bitterness stirring in her heart at the sound of her usual gentle voice.
"...That's not it. I wanted to get that plushie for you. To apologize to you." As if a tightly wound valve had suddenly been released, Gu Ximian impulsively blurted out what was on her mind, her voice low, "I'm sorry. I really did have that kind of thought back then. I don't know what I was thinking, but I... I just care about what you think."
"I know that was very disrespectful. It was my fault." Gu Ximian admitted her mistake and lowered her head. "...I'm sorry."
Her hand on the claw machine's joystick tightened uncomfortably as she said in a low voice, "...But I couldn't get the plushie out to give to you. I know myself that I'm terrible at this. Even with another 30 coins, I wouldn't be able to get it."
Zhuang Chi was a little stunned listening to the first part, but when she heard the latter part, she couldn't help but laugh. For Gu Ximian to admit she couldn't do something, it seemed she was truly frustrated.
And the four people behind them had quieted down at some point. Zhuang Chi could almost feel four pairs of eyes darting back and forth behind them. All she could say was that it was a good thing Gu Ximian's words weren't that clear, so even if those people heard, they wouldn't understand the full story. But Zhuang Chi knew exactly what Gu Ximian was talking about, yet she didn't know how to respond.
...Caring about her opinion, Zhuang Chi thought, that sounds...
She felt her face grow a little hot, but at the same time, she realized this wasn't the right time to overthink things—the others were still watching from behind. She forced herself to turn her thoughts to the matter at hand, looking at the little dog plushie behind the glass that was causing Gu Ximian so much trouble, and blinked thoughtfully.
"...Since it's something for me," Zhuang Chi finally said, under Gu Ximian's bewildered gaze, "can I try to see if I can get it?"
She got it with about ten coins left.
Lou Che and the others let out small cheers. Zhuang Chi also breathed a long sigh of relief, feeling that there was truly a great deal of skill to claw machines, much harder than she had imagined.
She hadn't really played this thing before either. Fortunately, she had a helper nearby. She called Lou Che over for some hands-on guidance, and he adopted the air of a strict teacher, lecturing her on the essentials of claw machines: ‘This is a phased project. You can't think about getting it out in one go. Instead, you have to think about what position and posture to move it into this time to make it easier to grab next time. You have to look at claw machines with a long-term perspective!’
It was practically a systematic course. Under this guidance, Zhuang Chi gradually got the hang of it and thankfully succeeded. Otherwise, to return in defeat after all that would have seemed far too unromantic. She picked up the plushie, silently squeezed it a few more times as if to vent her frustration, felt that it was as soft as it looked, and then handed it to Gu Ximian who was standing beside her. "For you."
"...Huh?" Gu Ximian's eyes widened, her gaze shifting nervously between Zhuang Chi and the plushie. "But... but I was the one who wanted to get it for you. It's my fault, how can I be the one receiving a gift..."
"It's okay." Zhuang Chi shook her head and pushed the plushie a little closer to her. "Just think of it as a reconciliation gift. It's the same no matter who gives it to whom."
Gu Ximian hesitated for a long moment before finally taking it, hugging it tightly to her chest.
"Thank you," she said softly. "...So you're not angry with me anymore?"
This is really the first time I've seen Gu Ximian look so anxious, Zhuang Chi thought.
In the end, if Zhuang Chi were capable of doing something like "shaking off Gu Ximian's hand," then she should have parted ways with Gu Ximian on the very first day. Then she and Gu Ximian wouldn't be like this, not even understanding the reason, yet watching each other for so long. It was like a standoff with each holding their own thoughts, or like being paused just a second before moving closer to the other.
"...Mm, I'm not angry anymore. But Gu Ximian," Zhuang Chi asked softly, "I want to know... what did you mean before when you said you 'care about what I think'?"
"..."
Gu Ximian stiffened. Before she could decide to speak, she saw the others peering at them from not far behind Zhuang Chi. Her brow furrowed at once, and she reached out, grabbed Zhuang Chi, and ran to a more secluded spot.
At this point, Gu Ximian knew she had to explain properly. She took a deep breath and confessed, as if throwing caution to the wind, "...I just want to know if you like me."
"And... if you like me, then I can't just treat you casually like before."
Feeling her face hotter than it had ever been, Gu Ximian was on the verge of becoming angry from embarrassment, but she didn't know who to direct this anger at. It certainly couldn't be at Zhuang Chi. So she could only turn her head away sullenly. "...That's it. But I chose the wrong way to do it. I won't do it like that again."
Zhuang Chi vaguely wondered, so Gu Ximian had been treating her "casually" before? Did "not casually" mean... could it be that she would start keeping her distance? The more she thought about it, the more she felt that must be it. She actually felt a little relieved and decided to explain it properly to Gu Ximian, "I see. You're worried because of that video from before, right? It's fine. I asked An Chen about it earlier. He said it was just subconsciously seeking out a familiar pheromone for comfort."
"And the only Omega pheromones I'm familiar with... are yours." It felt a little strange to say it out loud. Zhuang Chi pursed her lips unnaturally, hastily changed the subject, and comforted her, "Anyway, don't worry. It's not something you only do when you see the other person as a partner."
"..."
...Strange. She had expected to see Gu Ximian look relieved, but Zhuang Chi noticed that not only did Gu Ximian not relax, her expression actually worsened. The little dog plushie in her arms was being hugged so tightly that it looked pitifully like it was having trouble breathing.
"...Mm, thank you for telling me."
Under Zhuang Chi's confused gaze, Gu Ximian finally curled her lips into what looked like an exceptionally sincere smile. "So it's not just something you do when you see the other person as a partner. I never knew that before."
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