Chapter 74
She was startled by her own words only after they had left her mouth.
She hadn't thought it through at all. Gu Ximian didn't even realize she had such thoughts. She froze slightly, but Zhuang Chi had heard her clearly. She quietly lowered her head and, after a long silence, said softly, "...I'm sorry, for causing you so much trouble..."
Her tone was already tinged with dejection. Gu Ximian's heart tightened, and she rushed to explain, "No, I don't think it's trouble. What I just said wasn't meant to be..."
She trailed off, at a loss for words. Gu Ximian understood that she had no intention of blaming Zhuang Chi, but she didn't know how to explain it clearly—she was, in fact, unhappy that Zhuang Chi was addicted to Lily's pheromones.
It was a very subtle emotion, like coffee with too much lemon juice, mixing into an astringent mess in her heart that couldn't be cleaned up.
Instinctively, she didn't want to show this emotion to Zhuang Chi. Gu Ximian hesitated for a long while before finally raising her hand and gently ruffling Zhuang Chi's hair.
"...Let's talk about this after your susceptible period is over." She softened her voice soothingly. The soft, slightly curly ends of Zhuang Chi's hair brushed against her palm, and she found that she quite liked the feeling. Taking advantage of Zhuang Chi's dulled reactions at the moment, she stroked her hair a couple more times and said gently, "Let's see the doctor first. Have her do a thorough check-up. If it's really confirmed, then cooperate with the treatment. Besides..."
...Besides, a certain possibility had only just occurred to her. Gu Ximian thought. If a person was already addicted to a certain pheromone, and then encountered a higher-grade pheromone, could this "addiction" possibly be overwritten?
She couldn't bring herself to say such a thing to Zhuang Chi. It was as if a vile seed had been planted in her heart at some unknown time, and now it had abruptly broken through the soil. Gu Ximian knew it was a terrible thought, but she couldn't suppress it, allowing it to be nourished by her emotions until it grew too large to ignore.
If, she was just saying, if. Gu Ximian thought. If the doctor said that Zhuang Chi was truly addicted to Lily's pheromones, and this addiction could be overwritten, then...
"..."
She fell silent for a long moment, impassively stroking Zhuang Chi's hair. She cupped her face, her fingertips brushing fleetingly against Zhuang Chi's burning hot ear, the temperature scorching her skin.
"...We'll talk about it then," Gu Ximian said softly. "I'll be with you."
The one thinking terrible things wasn't Zhuang Chi, but Gu Ximian.
It was so hot.
But holding Gu Ximian seemed to make it much better.
Zhuang Chi unconsciously tightened her arms. Even though they were both girls, she just felt that the person in her arms was soft and slender, exquisite and delicate in every way, like a piece of white jade that was cool to the touch but had been warmed by her. It always made her worry that she would hurt Gu Ximian if she used too much force, yet she couldn't help but want to hold her tighter, so tight that there wasn't a single gap between them, their body heat mingling warmly, the air between their breaths filled with Gu Ximian's scent.
At first, she had strongly resisted these thoughts of hers, feeling that they were sordid and couldn't see the light of day. But Gu Ximian wouldn't let her endure it, adopting an almost boundless attitude of indulgence towards her. Whether Zhuang Chi wanted to hold her tight or nuzzle her neck, she would receive tacit permission. It was just that Gu Ximian would become relatively more silent at those times, as if her breathing had been disrupted by the nuzzling, leaving her unable to speak. Only the hand resting on her shoulder would tighten slightly.
And Zhuang Chi now understood that this was not a signal of rejection.
To be honest, Zhuang Chi hadn't fully grasped the current situation. She felt that everything had happened very suddenly. Gu Ximian had suddenly fallen into her arms, insisting on helping her through this susceptible period, like a beautiful and ambiguous dream.
Her thoughts were a bit muddled. Zhuang Chi shifted closer uneasily, burying her head in the side of Gu Ximian's neck—the side opposite her gland. The skin her nose touched was originally cool, but now it had been warmed by her rubbing. A faint pink blush spread across the porcelain-like delicate neck, making her suspect that if she were to lick it, it would taste sweet.
Zhuang Chi didn't dare to look for long. She closed her eyes and turned her head away with forbearance, but she didn't know what she had caught on. She heard Gu Ximian let out a soft hum, and when she frantically opened her eyes again, she saw that she had rubbed open the first button of the other's shirt. The collar was slightly open, revealing a glimpse of the delicate collarbone hidden beneath.
Before Gu Ximian could say anything, Zhuang Chi herself was quite frightened. She whipped her head away with a shua, but then felt like a criminal fleeing the scene. After struggling for a good while, she looked back at Gu Ximian, ready to confess her crime. "I... I accidentally rubbed your button open..."
She saw Gu Ximian looking down, her long eyelashes trembling like a butterfly's wings. She bit her lower lip and said in a small voice, "...Accidentally?"
Zhuang Chi wanted to explain that it really was an accident and not that she was trying to do something bad, but she felt her gaze uncontrollably drifting towards Gu Ximian's collar. Her throat was terribly dry, and even swallowing was difficult.
Ah, what the hell. Zhuang Chi forced herself to look away, desperately trying to erase the image from her mind. An Alpha in their susceptible period was just too awful, it was as if the brakes in her brain had failed. It was so hard to control her thoughts...
Especially in Zhuang Chi's current state. Although she didn't say it, she was already using all her strength just to control herself from biting Gu Ximian's gland.
Gu Ximian, she smells so, so good. Zhuang Chi thought dizzily, clenching her restless jaw tightly. And... she's so comfortable to hold... But she's really too unguarded. I should tell her not to be so indulgent with me. She only gave me two prohibitions, "no permanent mark" and "no touching strange places." Even if she doesn't tie me up, she should at least list more forbidden actions—
While her mind was wandering, she saw Gu Ximian silently raise a hand to her collar. Zhuang Chi thought she was going to fasten the button, but she saw her hesitate for a moment. Then, with a flick and fold of her fair fingers, she actually undid the second button of her shirt.
"...This is as far as it goes." Gu Ximian quickly withdrew her hand, trying her best to sound nonchalant, but the shy embarrassment in her tone was easy to detect. "...You can't go any further down."
She had been completely misunderstood! Zhuang Chi immediately realized that Gu Ximian thought she had intentionally tried to unbutton her shirt just now. She instantly felt so hot she thought steam was about to come out of her head, and she rushed to explain to Gu Ximian that she had no such improper intentions. "I wasn't planning to go down! It really was an accident just now, I..."
This is just too much! Zhuang Chi thought, on the verge of a breakdown. As she spoke, her eyes kept drifting towards the other's collar! She had no credibility at all!
Gu Ximian did indeed raise an eyebrow, looking unconvinced, and whispered, "So you don't actually like this?"
"..."
No. Zhuang Chi tried hard to look directly into her eyes and swallowed drily. This way of asking was no good.
...She couldn't bring herself to say the words "don't like."
Just as she was quite troubled by her terrible instincts and Gu Ximian's excessive indulgence, she saw Gu Ximian's gaze shift to the side. Zhuang Chi followed her gaze and saw that Gu Ximian's phone, which was beside her, had lit up, apparently with a new message. She politely avoided looking at the screen, but felt Gu Ximian pat her on the shoulder. "Hand it to me."
It seemed a bit difficult for her to move since she was sitting on her lap. Zhuang Chi realized this and complied, handing her the phone. But after she removed her hand from Gu Ximian's waist, she felt it was somehow wrong to put it back—wasn't it a bit too natural? Besides, she had been holding her this whole time. Thinking about it, was she going to keep holding her until her susceptible period ended...
Zhuang Chi was in a bit of a dilemma. After handing the phone to Gu Ximian, she let her hands hang awkwardly, placing them properly on the sofa. Gu Ximian glanced at the screen impassively and snorted softly in her heart, but ultimately turned her attention to the message first.
"It's from Ling Jing. She says she's bought the Omega inhibitors," she said, then propped herself up on Zhuang Chi's shoulder to stand up again, pointing to the door. "And food. She's brought it over for us. I'll go get it."
She turned to leave, but Zhuang Chi's heart lurched, and she grabbed her hand almost by reflex.
Seeing Gu Ximian stop and look back at her, Zhuang Chi's thoughts finally caught up. She frantically loosened her grip, but still kept her hand around Gu Ximian's wrist. She felt inexplicably restless, unable to explain why, only that she didn't want Gu Ximian to leave.
...It's only a few steps, what am I thinking. Zhuang Chi closed her eyes, then suddenly looked at Gu Ximian in alarm. "Wait, your Pheromone Blocking Collar..."
Of course, she hadn't put it on yet. If she opened the door just like that—it wasn't that she didn't trust Ling Jing and thought she would immediately attack Gu Ximian, but Zhuang Chi still couldn't feel at ease. As she spoke, she also stood up, hastily looking around for where Gu Ximian's collar had been tossed. But Gu Ximian gently tugged her hand, and when she turned her head, she saw Gu Ximian shake her head at her. "It's fine."
Zhuang Chi frowned, thinking she meant that nothing would happen in such a short time. Just as she was about to express her disapproval, she heard her say, "You're here."
"One, I know you'll protect me, and two..." Gu Ximian paused, pursing her lips unnaturally, and said softly, "...your pheromones will cover mine to a certain extent. Right now, I probably smell like... your Omega."
Zhuang Chi's already rapid heartbeat was thrown into complete disarray by her last few words. It took her a second to realize where she was looking, and she quickly turned around, raising a hand to cover her mouth. In the next second, her canines sank mercilessly deep into the fleshy part of her hand between the thumb and index finger. The sharp pain barely managed to dispel those chaotic thoughts. She sank to the ground, drained of strength, and said in a low voice, "...Don't say that, Gu Ximian."
...It would make her associate it with many things. All of them bad.
Knowing that an Alpha in their susceptible period couldn't stand being teased, Gu Ximian also felt a little regretful. She slowly walked to Zhuang Chi's side, bent down to stroke the somewhat dejected Alpha's hair, and said softly, "I'm sorry, did I make you uncomfortable? I didn't mean to... I didn't expect..."
She didn't expect Zhuang Chi to have such a strong reaction.
Gu Ximian didn't say it out loud. She felt guilty and didn't know how to make it up to Zhuang Chi. The shoulders of the person she was holding were still tense. When standing, Zhuang Chi was a bit taller than her, and her downcast eyes were brimming with tears. Zhuang Chi's eyelashes were long and thick; usually, they made her eyes look bright and expressive, but at this moment, they were clumped together wetly, casting a listless shadow. She looked nothing like she had when she'd flared up just now, seeming to blame herself for scaring people. She was pitiful and cute.
This kind of thought didn't seem very good, Gu Ximian thought. But... she actually felt a little happy.
An indescribably subtle feeling fermented in her chest, swelling up warm and full. Gu Ximian tightened her arms around Zhuang Chi's waist. Female Alphas didn't build muscle as easily as male ones, and the Zhuang Chi she was holding now was similarly not very strong, just sufficiently supple and slender, and reassuring.
"It's not your fault, you didn't do anything wrong. It's my fault."
Patting her back soothingly, Gu Ximian said softly, "You don't have to worry. I was just spouting nonsense just now because I didn't want you to send me away again. You don't need to care about what other Alphas might do, because..."
Zhuang Chi looked a little confused. Gu Ximian's gaze flickered, and she turned her head slightly. "...It's nothing. Anyway, I'm not leaving."
—Because besides you, I won't give any other Alpha the chance to hold me like this.
Gu Ximian pressed her lips together tightly, but in the end, she didn't say the words that had subconsciously appeared in her mind.
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