Chapter 75
Words like a confession.
If she really said them out loud, what kind of expression would Zhuang Chi make? Gu Ximian smiled silently, but her heart, which had soared, quickly fell again. She pressed her lips together and then gave a small shake of her head.
...Before thinking about such things, she should first sort out her own feelings.
At this point, there had to be a limit to self-deception. After taking the inhibitor, her thoughts seemed clearer than before. Gu Ximian tried to think as calmly as possible. She... towards Zhuang Chi...
Gu Ximian had never considered herself a very possessive person. She admitted to having some territorial awareness at most—she disliked others entering her room and didn't like her things being touched. But she hadn't been attached to them since childhood. When other children touched her things, she would usually just give them up decisively and stop using them. Coupled with her privileged family background, she had always been indifferent to material possessions. When she was in a good mood, she would even give the item away directly, not caring much about it.
To this day, this was the first time Gu Ximian had encountered such a situation.
She found that she was unwilling to let go of Zhuang Chi. Even more so, she was unwilling to let Zhuang Chi be touched by others.
It was hard to pinpoint when she had started to consider Zhuang Chi as her own. Perhaps the displeasure she felt upon hearing the word “addiction” at the hospital was an early sign. Now, her feelings were in such a mess, and just a moment ago, she had done something so childish...
Gu Ximian rarely had moments when her heart was in such turmoil. Counting the few times it had happened, they were all related to Zhuang Chi. Feeling a little indignant, she secretly glanced at the oblivious Zhuang Chi. After closing the door, Zhuang Chi had gradually calmed down, no longer as emotionally unstable as when she had opened it. Right now, she was obediently holding her milk tea, taking absentminded sips. She wasn't focused, her teeth unconsciously grinding the poor straw, leaving deep indentations.
Ling Jing and the others had brought not only inhibitors but also food and water. For some reason, they had also brought two cups of iced milk tea, which were quite welcomed by Zhuang Chi, who was already feeling waves of heat. Gu Ximian watched quietly for a long while. Zhuang Chi's hair had gotten a bit messy from rubbing against her earlier. The disheveled ends curved softly, outlining a fluffy silhouette under the warm hotel lights.
She thought it looked very nice to touch and subconsciously reached out her hand.
It wasn't until Zhuang Chi looked at her that Gu Ximian realized she was stroking Zhuang Chi's hair. She instinctively wanted to pull her hand back but felt that doing so would seem too flustered. So, she forced herself to stop the motion and pulled a topic from her chaotic thoughts: “...Until your susceptible period is over, you're not allowed to say things like asking me to leave here again.”
Zhuang Chi didn't suspect anything, but she didn't nod immediately. Instead, she frowned with some disapproval. Gu Ximian knew at a glance what she was thinking. When she spoke again, her tone was more solemn: “Are you still thinking of using inhibitors? It's already been proven that I can help you. What's the sense in taking the long way around and hurting your own body—”
Gu Ximian paused, then, as if possessed, she continued softly: “...Or do you want Olivia to help you instead.”
She regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth. Gu Ximian hadn't intended to bring this up at all. Now, seeing Zhuang Chi's surprised expression made her feel even more awkward. She decided to just go all in, leaning back and trying to maintain a nonchalant tone, as if she didn't care at all: “You're right. If I had arrived half an hour later, Olivia would probably be the one with you now. After all, you even told her first when your susceptible period started.”
...The disguise was a bit of a failure. Gu Ximian frowned in annoyance. Her words were so passive-aggressive... no matter how you heard it, it sounded like she cared a great deal.
She herself knew her words were unreasonable, but Zhuang Chi just shook her head gently and explained good-naturedly, “I contacted Ling Jing first to ask if she had any inhibitors. She probably got worried and called everyone else over. Besides, they're all Alphas, which is safer than you coming over...”
What's wrong with Alphas? Gu Ximian thought. Are Alphas really safe? She didn't think they were safe at all.
“...And then what,” having said this much, Gu Ximian suddenly didn't want to keep hiding or change the subject. She pressed on persistently, “If I hadn't come then, would you have chosen Olivia to help you?”
Without much hesitation, Zhuang Chi quickly shook her head.
“Olivia is a very good person, and I know she's worried about me,” Zhuang Chi said softly, her hand tightening unnaturally around the milk tea cup. “...But to have her suffer such a grievance just to help me... My susceptible period isn't her fault. I don't want to trouble her like that.”
Olivia probably wouldn't consider it a “grievance” or “trouble,” Gu Ximian thought, turning her head away impassively without a word.
She wasn't Lou Che; she wasn't in the habit of speaking others' true feelings for them, especially not when the other person was Olivia. Since the princess herself was hiding behind a high-sounding pretext and refused to clarify her feelings, Gu Ximian was naturally happy to help conceal them. Anyway, Zhuang Chi was inherently dense when it came to matters of the heart—
“...”
Thinking about these things, she inexplicably started to feel dejected. Gu Ximian frowned and sighed silently, not understanding how thinking about this could be a move that hurt the enemy by a thousand, only to lose eight hundred herself.
If she didn't say it, Zhuang Chi wouldn't know. It was a simple principle. The seemingly gentle person was not as easy to get close to as one might imagine. If approaching Gu Ximian was like starting to feel difficulty when you've walked from 100 meters to 50 meters away from her, then Zhuang Chi was like allowing everyone to approach for the first 90 meters, but the final 10 meters were impossible to cross, as if she were encased in a thick wooden shell.
Gu Ximian stood outside, wanting to knock but not daring to. She knew Zhuang Chi was hiding many secrets, and while she clearly wanted to go in and see for herself, she always wanted Zhuang Chi to come out on her own. Gu Ximian thought it would be best if she could pretend to be just passing by at that moment, raising her eyes nonchalantly, and then deliberately adding a poorly concealed remark: If you want to invite me in, I suppose I could agree.
She's the female lead, for goodness' sake, Gu Ximian thought petulantly. Even if Zhuang Chi was her official match, why did it seem like she was the only one having these chaotic thoughts every day...
...And what was even harder to admit was that Gu Ximian herself hadn't figured things out yet.
It wasn't about the true nature of her feelings, but about whether she had made up her mind, whether she was willing to be marked by Zhuang Chi as an Omega, forming a lifelong, indelible contract.
Although she had heard there were ways to remove a mark now... that wasn't the issue. Gu Ximian thought. It was a psychological factor. The moment she gave permission, it would be like handing over all control of herself. To her, this was a very, very difficult thing to imagine.
Gu Ximian had never liked the term “mark.” It was cold, as if referring to an object. And by extension, she had never liked her identity as an S-class Omega. Even with her family's background hiding her S-class status, leaving only her official Omega gender, it was enough to attract swarms of admirers buzzing around her like flies. The gazes they cast held a possessive greed that was disgusting to look at. When she was younger, she had even seriously considered destroying her glands to escape this fate that felt like a curse.
Back then, Gu Ximian never would have thought that one day she would meet an Alpha who would make her seriously consider whether she was willing to be marked.
The more she thought, the more complicated it became. Gu Ximian looked at Zhuang Chi, who was watching her, waiting for a response to her earlier words. The milk tea in her hands hadn't been lifted again. Gu Ximian wanted to change the subject and said gently, “Why did you stop drinking? It won't be cold anymore.”
“...” Zhuang Chi looked down, shook her head, and said in a low voice, “...I don't want anything I can bite.”
The answer sounded a bit nonsensical, but Gu Ximian's gaze swept over the straw in the milk tea, its tip chewed and wrinkled. Her heart suddenly stirred as she understood that Zhuang Chi was resisting the desire to bite something and didn't want to be provoked by other things.
As for what she wanted to bite, Gu Ximian knew perfectly well.
Gu Ximian was quiet for a moment, then took the milk tea from her hands and placed it on the table, saying softly, “I'll drink it later, then.” Zhuang Chi became a little flustered, saying she'd have to change the straw first. As she rummaged through the bag, her hand was held down, and then Gu Ximian moved closer.
Zhuang Chi had a very delicate face, with soft, manga-like features. Her eyes, nose, lips—nothing about her was aggressive. Gu Ximian knew she was a popular topic of discussion at school. If it weren't for the problem with her glands shortly after she presented, she would have probably been asked for her WeChat and given love letters by many Omegas. And this person didn't seem to know how to refuse; she could easily be tricked by a bad Omega.
And now, the way she looked at her was moist and harmless, like a Beta, like an Omega, just not like an Alpha. What kind of Alpha in their susceptible period would look at an Omega they were alone with like this? Being looked at with such eyes, Gu Ximian felt that even if she said it was okay to bite, Zhuang Chi probably wouldn't be willing to bare her fangs at her.
Gu Ximian slowly raised her hand and, under Zhuang Chi's gaze, touched her face. Zhuang Chi didn't understand why, but she tacitly allowed the caress and didn't pull away. It was a gesture that would have seemed overly bold on a normal day, but because of the susceptible period, it became ordinary, as if the standards of permissible behavior were relaxed in this room, and anything was allowed.
This is practically taking advantage of someone's vulnerability, Gu Ximian thought. See? Isn't this person just the type to be tricked by a bad Omega?
Zhuang Chi in her susceptible period was unbelievably docile, even more obedient than usual. Plus, her thinking seemed unclear, so she would answer anything she was asked. An idea couldn't help but pop into Gu Ximian's mind: if she asked Zhuang Chi right now whether she liked her or not, would she get the answer she wanted?
Although she had heard Zhuang Chi's answer once at the arcade, recalling it later, Gu Ximian gradually sensed something was off. Zhuang Chi's words back then were spoken in anger. Even if they weren't necessarily a lie, their credibility had to be halved—
...It was hard to say if this was biased thinking. Perhaps it was just that Gu Ximian hadn't heard the answer she wanted back then, and was forcing herself to think this way.
How contradictory. She clearly hadn't made up her own mind, yet she was eager to first confirm Zhuang Chi's feelings. This was perhaps an act that could be called arrogant. Gu Ximian felt she was in the wrong, but she couldn't help it. When it came to Zhuang Chi, she never seemed to be as composed as usual.
...But asking too directly wouldn't be good either, Gu Ximian thought. She couldn't be... too hasty.
Take it slow. Given the current situation, she would eventually have a chance to see some clues from Zhuang Chi. Thinking this, she stroked Zhuang Chi's face and said softly, “I need to leave for a moment. I'll be back in two minutes. Wait for me properly in the room, okay?”
Zhuang Chi's gaze tightened slightly. Even knowing this was an attachment mixed with the effects of pheromones, Gu Ximian's lips still curled up disappointingly. She explained gently, “I'm going to get my pajamas. I can't just sleep in my shirt tonight, can I?”
“...” Zhuang Chi was stunned for a long moment, seemingly finally understanding the meaning behind Gu Ximian's words, yet finding it hard to believe. She slowly confirmed, “...You mean, bring your pajamas over, and then tonight...”
“I'm sleeping here with you. What else?”
In reality, her heart was pounding as if it would explode, but Gu Ximian forced a calm and composed expression as she stood up. “I'll be back soon. Afterwards... I might need to borrow your bathroom first.”
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