Chapter 17: Not Heavy at All
Yu Yeqing's palm was warm. The feeling of it gripping her wrist made Song Hemei instinctively wiggle her fingertips.
She immediately understood the implication behind his words and felt heat creeping up her face. She quickly cleared her throat, putting on a facade of propriety. "I was just saying whatever came to mind. You're the one who reads so deeply into things."
Yu Yeqing said nothing, but he didn't let go of her wrist either.
Yet the more he held on, the more it seemed to remind her of everything that had just happened—chaotic and beyond the bounds of propriety.
She couldn't help but cough lightly twice. "Alright, alright. Let's sleep."
She twisted her wrist, pulling her hand free, and turned her back to him.
She was, after all, utterly exhausted. That slight unease wasn't enough to stave off her drowsiness. In just a few moments, her breathing evened out, and there she was, lying on a man's bed, falling asleep without a shred of guard.
Yu Yeqing stared at the crude bed canopy above him and couldn't help but let out a sigh.
But what did she even need to guard against him for?
They had already done everything there was to do. If there was anything left to guard against, it was only whether or not he would abandon her corpse in the wilderness.
Yu Yeqing closed his eyes. The tip of his nose was filled with the sweet fragrance of the person beside him. This was a long-used sachet scent favored by young ladies, somewhat cloying. It didn't really suit her.
He had heard from Song Jilang that she had switched from her usual incense to this one because Shao Wen'ang liked it.
When her heart was set on someone, she was that earnest and cherishing. But that person had not treated her well, driving her to her current state.
His mind replayed the answer he had just received—Just a coincidence.
He knew she would have gone on to say something like, if it hadn't been him that day, it would have been anyone else.
So, fate had finally deigned to favor him this once.
Yu Yeqing took a deep breath. It felt as though her scent had entered his lungs and spread through his limbs and bones, making him feel like no amount of inhaling would ever be enough. He instinctively reached out his hand, wanting to grasp it firmly, but he couldn't do something so out of line.
After restraining himself again and again, he finally stretched out his hand, but only to grasp the hem of the skirt of the person beside him. The soft fabric's edge was bunched in his palm, and it brought him immense peace of mind.
The next day, as the sky was just barely light, Song Hemei was woken by someone.
Opening her eyes, she saw Yu Yeqing sitting neatly on the round stool across from her, his expression cold and stern. It inexplicably reminded her of the female tutor her parents had once hired for her.
She swallowed, her throat a little dry. "It's barely dawn. What's this all about?"
Surely she hadn't stumbled upon this scholar's habit of rising at cockcrow to practice his sword?
Yu Yeqing's gaze landed on her, his voice steady. "Second Miss should return home. If we wait any later, there might be people on the road who will start idle gossip."
Song Hemei closed her eyes again, trying to shake off her drowsiness. "Your road here is quite remote. Where would there be people?"
She said it without thinking, but the light in Yu Yeqing's eyes dimmed for a moment. Nevertheless, he still explained to her in his usual tone. "Today is a market day. Some families will be setting up stalls and will rise especially early."
This finally made it impossible for Song Hemei to sleep. Her eyes snapped open.
She was willing to do unconventional things, but that didn't mean she would let this get out and willingly listen to gossip. She only silently cursed her bad luck for this to fall on this particular timing.
Song Hemei forced herself to sit up. Her outer robe had been neatly folded and placed on the round stool by the bed. She picked it up and looked at it. The ambiguous creases and marks had all been smoothed away, clean and tidy. Surprised, she looked up. "You cleaned it?"
Yu Yeqing met her gaze and did not deny it.
That was an admission.
"Didn't you sleep last night? How did you have the leisure for this?"
His workmanship was good, and he was meticulous. If he were a woman, he would make an excellent head maid in the inner courtyard.
Though, if her clothes were dirty or ruined, she would just throw them away. Why wear them a second time?
"If someone observant noticed that Second Miss had changed her clothes, they might become suspicious," Yu Yeqing said solemnly.
Song Hemei slipped the outer robe on, thinking to herself that he really was careful. He even considered potential slip-ups like this. It seemed he was even more afraid of this being exposed than she was.
From the moment she started getting up, Yu Yeqing had averted his gaze. She fastened the last button before speaking. "Alright, turn around. I'm dressed."
Yu Yeqing lowered his eyes, got up first, and walked toward the door. Song Hemei followed behind him, wondering where this insistence on propriety and avoidance came from. When you had already touched and kissed something, why be afraid to look at it?
When they reached the courtyard and saw the horse, Song Hemei belatedly realized that her lower back and legs were sore. She hadn't noticed it while walking, but now, just thinking about the motion and jostling of riding made her tremble involuntarily.
She couldn't very well say it out loud. While she was still hesitating about whether to just walk back, Yu Yeqing pulled the reins and turned to look at her.
The instant their eyes met, his gaze shifted, traveling down her body, as if it finally settled somewhere near her lower abdomen.
Song Hemei's heart leaped. She instinctively took a step back, trying to shake off his gaze. "What are you looking at?"
Yu Yeqing didn't answer. He just looked back at the horse, then after a moment's thought, said, "Forgive the impertinence."
Song Hemei hadn't even processed what he meant by "impertinence" when he was already leading the horse forward. Standing before her, his tall figure bent slightly. One strong arm wrapped around her waist, the other under her knees, and he lifted her directly.
"Hey, you—"
She instinctively cried out, but before the words were out, she was already placed on the horse's back, sitting sidesaddle.
Yu Yeqing stepped into the stirrup and mounted the horse behind her. As he settled, his hands holding the reins naturally encircled her, holding her securely.
Now she didn't have to worry about discomfort or falling off. It was just… a little embarrassing.
"Forgive the impertinence."
Yu Yeqing's low, raspy voice sounded by her ear. He said it again.
But Song Hemei felt as though her entire neck and nape had gone numb from the vibration. She instinctively hunched her shoulders in defense, her whole body rigid. She stared straight ahead, afraid to look back.
She seemed to understand why Yu Yeqing had averted his gaze earlier when she was putting on her outer robe. After all, they were… not close.
Under the most distant relationship, they had done the most intimate thing between a man and a woman.
Their bodies were not yet used to the sensation of pressing together; their affections were not strong enough to make parting unbearable. Even with their eyes, they hadn't yet fully seen each other's usual, composed appearance, so how could they be expected to look upon the other's bare form without flinching?
She understood, and she deeply empathized, because right now her body was stiff.
She knew that if she just leaned back into his embrace and relaxed all the tension in her body, the ride would be very comfortable. But she inexplicably couldn't do it. Even though this chest had pressed against her, and she had even felt the dull, heavy beat of his heart through it.
She initially planned to just hold on until they got home. But unexpectedly, after only a short distance, she felt that forcing herself to stay rigid made her waist and abdomen start to ache.
So what was she even insisting on?
They weren't close now. If they pressed together more, they would be.
She turned her head, lifting it slightly. What she saw was his sharply defined jawline. "Young Master Yu, I'm going to lean on you for a while."
She had originally wanted to ask if she could, but the words changed as they reached her lips. She decided just to state the result. Otherwise, this man would just fall silent for another long while.
And since she'd already spoken, she didn't really expect an answer. She'd already informed him; leaning directly against him was fine.
Song Hemei relaxed her body in good conscience. The back of her head rested against his right arm, her head pillowed in the hollow of his shoulder. She sank entirely into his warm embrace.
"Am I heavy?"
With the soft jade in his arms, Yu Yeqing's entire person was stiff. He answered without thinking. "Not heavy."
Song Hemei couldn't help but let out a light laugh. "Then I'm going to let myself go completely. If I really fall off this horse, I won't be paying you last night's silver."
Yu Yeqing tightened his embrace, pulling her up a little more securely. "Don't worry. I won't."
The feeling of being encircled like this was very safe and comfortable. Song Hemei felt as if she were a little girl again, nestling in her mother's arms. The horse walked slowly, and the gentle rocking lulled her drowsiness back. Leaning into that warm, solid embrace, she fell asleep.
The horse passed through secluded alleys, avoiding the people who had to rise early to secure good spots at the market. But it was witnessed by someone who had spent the night drunk in a dark corner of an alley—
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