Chapter 27: Mandarin Ducks
Warm fragrance and soft jade filled his embrace. Shao Wen'ang subconsciously tightened his arms, intending to pull her deeper and closer, but Song Hemei only leaned against him briefly before straightening up.
She slowly raised her eyes, a pair of autumn-tinted pools gazing longingly at the man before her, delight mingled with timidity. "Brother Wen'ang, I thought I would never see you again."
In the past, Song Hemei would never have called him with such intimate familiarity. Shao Wen'ang had once coaxed her gently to address him so, but she had never relented.
Now, she could no longer afford such scruples. Circumstances demanded it.
Shao Wen'ang, surprised to meet her here, felt his fickle heart rekindle at this moment.
"Mei'er, I—"
"Brother Wen'ang, let's go inside to talk first." Song Hemei cast a shy, sidelong glance around. The commotion from moments ago had already drawn occasional looks from passersby toward them.
She whispered, "It's not proper to speak outside."
Shao Wen'ang understood her concern from her gesture and immediately nodded, following her into Jinjin Pavilion.
This was the largest jewelry and accessories shop in Changzhou, three stories tall. The first floor sold ornaments and fabrics, the second floor was for changing clothes and resting, and the third floor offered refreshments and light snacks. When they had met privately in the old days, it had always been in the innermost room on this third floor.
For an unmarried couple already betrothed, no number of meetings ever felt enough. When they did meet, bound by propriety and afraid to act too casually, a single glance at each other would fill them with such joy that their ears burned and their cheeks flushed. The thrill of secret encounters and the mutual understanding of their affection mingled together, making their hearts race wildly.
Song Hemei climbed the steps one by one. She knew Shao Wen'ang was following behind her, just like so many times before, but now she had to suppress the disgust in her heart, or else the words she needed to speak next would never leave her lips.
Her sister-in-law held her hand and walked beside her. Perhaps sensing her increasingly tense body, she gently patted the back of her hand. When Song Hemei looked over, she mouthed silently: "Commoners don't fight officials."
Song Hemei clenched her teeth, took a deep breath, and mouthed back inaudibly: "I know."
No matter how much face the Song family had in Changzhou, they could never surpass the local magistrate. Moreover, the Shao family was no longer what it once was—no longer in the position of needing the Song family's support to establish themselves. Now that they had intentionally set themselves against the Song family, not to mention the capital official whom Senior Lord Shao had cultivated connections with, even the mere pretext of an inspection by a Ministry of Works official could bankrupt the Song family or at least skin them alive.
By squeezing the merchants, the court's allocated funds could be saved. No matter whose pockets the money ultimately lined, it was a favor owed to the Shao family. If one thought deeper, perhaps the Shao family was merely an intermediary, driven by that person from Bianjing behind the scenes.
The more she thought this way, the more uneasy Song Hemei felt. She feared that even if she managed to smooth things over through Shao Wen'ang, there would be no way to turn this matter around.
When they reached the door of the private room, Qiu Wan stopped first and turned back to Shao Wen'ang. "It's too stifling inside. I'll stay out here to get some air. Second Brother-in-law, you need to have a good talk with Second Sister."
Shao Wen'ang had his concerns but couldn't refuse. He could only clasp his hands toward Qiu Wan and say, "You're right, Sister-in-law."
He was humble, respectful, and well-mannered—no different from before. In the past, when he visited the Song residence, he would occasionally greet Qiu Wan in the same manner, bowing with clasped hands, without the least airs of an official's son. He would even exchange pleasantries with her, never looking down on her for her humble origins nor dismissing her for being a woman.
Qiu Wan still hoped that Second Sister could hold onto this man. Where else could she find someone better?
She shot Song Hemei a prompting glance, but Song Hemei deliberately avoided it. Pinching her handkerchief, she sat down first on a round stool. "Brother Wen'ang, I went back to the Shao residence yesterday. I'm not sure if you know."
Shao Wen'ang seemed to snap back to attention. He let out a soft sigh and sat down across from her.
He didn't speak first, just lowered his eyes.
He must still care for her, otherwise he wouldn't have come to Jinjin Pavilion because of a single word she said yesterday.
But he must also have tacitly approved of the Shao family's decision, otherwise he wouldn't have hesitated to seek her out on his own.
In that brief but weighty silence, Song Hemei's peripheral vision swept the doorway. The door was open, just as before. For a couple already formally betrothed, being seen meeting privately wasn't a big deal, but if the door were closed, it would surely invite gossip.
But now, the person standing guard at the door had changed from Cao Lingchun to her sister-in-law.
She couldn't afford to think about it anymore—about how, during every previous meeting, after Cao Lingchun had dutifully kept watch, the two of them had tangled together. She pressed her handkerchief to her nose, forcing down the resistance and nausea from the depths of her heart, and her voice softened accordingly. "Your affair with Lingchun—you kept it from me for five years. You always said you cherished me, but behind my back, you were with her."
Song Hemei closed her eyes. "I'm angry that you hid it from me, and I'm angry that you thought so little of me. Do you really think I'm so jealous that I couldn't tolerate even a single concubine? From the moment you started hiding things from me, you were looking down on me. Wasn't I allowed to be angry?"
She opened her eyes and, when she looked at Shao Wen'ang again, there was a hint of grievance in them. "I know I said a lot of angry words to you, but I just wanted you to care more about me. How did... how did everything change? You stopped caring about our marriage, and you didn't want me anymore."
Her words naturally stirred Shao Wen'ang's heart with pity and reluctance to let go.
He fumbled for his handkerchief to wipe her tears. "Mei'er, don't cry. That was all my parents' decision."
Song Hemei turned her body away to avoid him—not only because she didn't want him to touch her, but also because she didn't want him to wipe the corners of her eyes that hadn't yet shed tears.
But Shao Wen'ang saw it as her being too aggrieved to restrain herself, and he panicked. "How could I not want you? After all these years of feeling between us, I dote on you too much to ever let you go."
He hurriedly fumbled in his bosom and pulled out a gold hairpin carved with honeysuckle. "I originally planned to give this to you on our wedding night. I know you like gold and silver, and the honeysuckle symbolizes mandarin ducks—a pair for life. My heart for you has never changed."
When Song Hemei saw the gold hairpin in his hand, her pupils trembled slightly. She had anticipated he might bring a token of their love to Jinjin Pavilion to reminisce, but she hadn't expected him to bring this very hairpin, the one he had originally intended to give her.
She had once mentioned to Shao Wen'ang that her mother said when her father had sought her hand, he had gifted a pair of heavy imperial concubine bangles, so dazzlingly golden they hurt the eyes—saying he wanted to lock her by his side forever.
When Shao Wen'ang heard that, he said he wanted to give her a gold hairpin instead. He couldn't bear to lock her up, but he wanted to tie their hair together for eternity.
Song Hemei took the gold hairpin, clutching it in her hand as her fingertips traced the patterns on it bit by bit.
This feeling was truly unbearable. Amidst an ocean of genuine affection, it was solidly paved with deceit as wet and shifting as sand.
Rolling in it, the sensation of being soaked and nurtured was real, but so was the irritation of being covered in damp, sticky sand that couldn't be brushed away no matter how hard one tried.
When he moved her heart, she couldn't shake off his infidelity.
But when she loathed him deeply, his deep affection brought her pain.
She even wished that Cao Lingchun had just been a dream. Perhaps she was still trapped in a nightmare and had never woken up, which was why she found herself in this dilemma, facing someone who wasn't exactly bad but wasn't steadfast either.
If her mind wavered even slightly, she feared she would truly fall into it again. But then Yiyun's words seemed to coil around her like a ghost, pulling her back from the abyss.
She couldn't trust him.
Song Hemei steadied her mind and held the gold hairpin in her hands. "Brother Wen'ang, being able to hear you say this truly makes my heart happy."
After a pause, she lowered her eyes. "But what about Father-in-law and Mother-in-law? Don't they feel I've made too much of a scene and refuse to acknowledge me? I truly know I was wrong, Brother Wen'ang. What should I do?"
Her plaintive, hesitant tone entered Shao Wen'ang's ears, and the feeling of being relied upon made him willingly support her against the world.
He deliberately cast his parents' instructions to the back of his mind. At this moment, he couldn't bring himself to refuse her. The tenderness in his heart made him reach out and take her hand directly. "Mei'er, don't worry. As long as I'm here, I won't let you suffer."
Song Hemei raised her head, a glimmer of hope appearing in her eyes at just the right moment. "Truly?"
Shao Wen'ang gritted his teeth inwardly, but the words that came out were, "Of course it's true."
A smile curled at the corner of Song Hemei's lips as she tucked the gold hairpin into her bosom. "Alright, then I'll wait for your news. If things work out, I will definitely go to Father-in-law and Mother-in-law to apologize."
Shao Wen'ang's heart rippled with pleasure at her obedience. His relaxed, handsome eyes were steeped in smiles and desire.
"Mei'er…"
His sticky, honeyed voice emerged, setting off alarm bells in Song Hemei's heart.
Shao Wen'ang leaned forward slightly, his bobbing Adam's apple betraying his agitation. He called out "Mei'er" again, then moved closer to her.
Even if she was pretending, Song Hemei could no longer bear it. She immediately turned sideways. "Don't be like this. Sister-in-law is still here."
Her heart was pounding wildly.
She didn't want him to touch her. Even knowing that he still cherished her, still cared for her, she didn't want it.
She felt nauseous, disgusted. Even knowing that one day she would have to be intimate with him again, she still rejected and resisted it. She couldn't forget that his lips had touched another woman, and might have touched more than just lips.
The mere thought made her want to retch.
The instinctive resistance that arose from this feeling filled her with a belated, deep-seated panic.
Shao Wen'ang glanced back at Qiu Wan outside the door. "Sister-in-law isn't looking at us. Mei'er, I want to be close to you."
Song Hemei endured until her stomach churned and fine sweat broke out on her forehead. Her body went rigid, and she wanted to push him away. If she actually vomited now, all her forbearance would be wasted.
Just then, a servant suddenly knocked on the half-open door and then bowed to the side. "Young Master, a gentleman from the Lu family is looking for you. Would you like to—"
Abruptly interrupted, Shao Wen'ang's expression soured. But the moment the word "Lu" was spoken, a subtle change came over his face.
He cleared his throat and said softly, "Mei'er, I…"
Song Hemei felt as if she had been granted a reprieve. She immediately said, "You should go. It must be something important."
A smile spread across Shao Wen'ang's lips. He nodded, didn't explain much, just gave a few instructions, and left first.
Watching his figure disappear from sight, her sister-in-law came in with a puzzled expression, asking what had happened.
Song Hemei no longer had the energy to answer her. She had endured for so long that her face was pale. After taking two deep, ragged breaths, she still felt the urge to vomit strongly. She immediately stood up and opened the window. As the wind from outside blew in, she finally felt like she could breathe again.
But as she subconsciously lifted her eyes, she caught a familiar figure flash past in Jufu Vegetarian Restaurant across the street.
That person was tall and slender, dressed in a blue robe. He stood not far from the window, only half his body visible, while the person opposite him seemed to be saying something or trying to stop him.
For some reason, Song Hemei's gaze lingered on that blue-robed figure.
Was that… Yu Yeqing?
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