Chapter 38: Giving Birth
Song Hemei had been raised with meticulous care, and her constitution was not poor. Even though the heart sickness was difficult to dispel, her physical ailments gradually began to heal.
After being ill for four or five days, when she finally rose, all the bones in her body seemed to have grown unaccustomed to each other. With the slightest movement, she felt a dull ache spreading from her spine up through her neck.
When the Shao family sent someone to fetch her, she wore that face, still pale and unhealed, as she was helped into the sedan chair and carried back.
Just as she had originally planned, she returned to the Shao residence and, with her maids, cleared out a side chamber in Shao Wen'ang's courtyard. That very day, she was to take up residence there. Cao Lingchun also brought servants from her own courtyard to help, freeing up time for Song Hemei to go and see Shao Wen'ang.
He had lost a great deal of weight. His eye sockets and cheeks were somewhat sunken, and he still lay in bed recovering from his injuries. The weather had grown warm, and the thin blanket was draped only loosely over his waist and abdomen. When he saw her, Shao Wen'ang seemed to avert his eyes, but the room was too small for him to avoid her completely. He could only call out to her in a low voice, "Mei'er."
Song Hemei's mood was truly poor. Even seeing Shao Wen'ang in such a miserable state did not bring her the same satisfaction as before.
Perhaps he could smell his own scent. The room was heavily fumigated with incense. She stepped forward a few paces and sat on the round stool beside the bed. At least this time, it wasn't as nauseating as the last visit.
She paused, then asked a perfunctory question: "I heard the injuries have mostly healed. I imagine you'll be able to get up and walk around soon. I've been very worried about you."
Her own languid, sickly appearance lent a bit more credibility to her words.
Shao Wen'ang's expression was ugly, bit by bit stained by immense pain and resentment. "Mei'er, I'm a cripple now. Have you grown to despise me?"
He closed his eyes, his pain with no outlet, and could only beat the bed in fury. "Heaven is truly unjust! Why did this have to happen to me of all people? Mei'er, we were just married. We haven't even consummated the marriage, and now it's all ruined!"
As he spoke—whether truly for her sake or not—a real tear fell from the corner of his eye, sliding down into his sideburn. "My poor Mei'er, to have to suffer this grievance as well."
Song Hemei watched his hysterical display and couldn't help but furrow her brows.
He certainly had some nerve. In a situation like this, he was still thinking about consummating the marriage with her.
She pinched her handkerchief and lightly dabbed at her eyelashes, partly to conceal the disgust on her face. But somehow, Shao Wen'ang's wailing suddenly stopped.
Song Hemei immediately looked over, afraid that something might happen to him right before her eyes and he would blame it on her.
Shao Wen'ang was staring ahead, his expression turning even uglier. The room fell silent, and within moments, she seemed to smell that unclean odor again.
She instantly realized what it was. The nausea surged up once more, and unable to control her revulsion, she abruptly stood up.
But before she could step back, her movement gave Shao Wen'ang the wrong idea. He immediately said, "Don't come closer!"
As a man, his dignity had been almost completely ground away. Awkward and humiliated, he gritted his teeth and repeated, "Don't come closer. Go call Lingchun."
Song Hemei was more than willing. She didn't need his urging; in a few quick steps, she was outside and summoned Cao Lingchun inside.
As soon as Cao Lingchun entered, her face was filled with worry. She approached without the slightest hint of disgust. She seemed accustomed to such things. The moment she realized what had happened, she actually breathed a sigh of relief and skillfully fetched something like a sanitary belt.
The thin blanket was lifted, and Song Hemei caught an unexpected glimpse of him wearing only the sanitary belt. Frowning, she covered her nose with her handkerchief and turned her head away.
Shao Wen'ang gritted his teeth and closed his eyes, letting Cao Lingchun do what she needed, looking as though he was enduring great humiliation. But Song Hemei saw Cao Lingchun, heavy with her large belly, breathing laboriously from the exertion.
Pregnant women easily get hot and sweaty, let alone having to maneuver around a grown man in the increasingly warm weather. Song Hemei couldn't bear to watch. "You're with child. You should let the maids handle this."
Shao Wen'ang clearly didn't want that. He snapped his eyes open, but before he could speak, Cao Lingchun said first, "Thank you for your concern, my Lady. But ever since the Young Master's accident, I have been the only one carefully tending to him. If someone else were to do it, I would not be at ease."
She finished the adjustments, went to wash a clean cloth, and gently wiped him, even finding the time to turn back and smile at Song Hemei.
Seeing this, Song Hemei said no more. She waited quietly until everything was tidied up, then properly withdrew from the room.
Once again, only she and Shao Wen'ang remained in the room. But after that incident, an inescapable awkwardness had spread through the space. Shao Wen'ang seemed to be dying of shame and anger, his eyes tightly shut, not daring to look at her.
She didn't want to stay long anyway, so she said considerately, "Husband has been talking for a while. You should rest. I'll go see how the room preparations are coming along."
With those words, she left him and walked directly out.
Cao Lingchun was still in the courtyard. When she saw Song Hemei emerge, she took a few steps closer and sighed softly. "My Lady saw it for herself. Ever since the Young Master woke up, this is how he's been. He only lets me see the injury there. If anyone else tries, he drives them away. He doesn't want people to see his weakness. The fewer who see his wound, the better."
Song Hemei looked at her and could sense that this was not a boast, but rather an explanation for why she had refused to delegate the task earlier.
But Song Hemei didn't know what was really going through Cao Lingchun's mind. It seemed she truly believed they could become like sisters in the future, sharing hardship by Shao Wen'ang's side. Her words grew more numerous.
"Actually, being able to serve the Young Master makes me happy deep down. That winter years ago, I was unwell because my monthly courses had come. The Young Master didn't even know what 'monthly courses' were at first, but he was kind and worried about me. He specifically asked about it, then gave me some silver for a sanitary belt. From that moment on, I thought to myself that I would do anything for him."
Cao Lingchun's face was wistful, but Song Hemei was stunned by her words.
Because she, too, had experienced something similar.
When she was fourteen, in early summer, she was wearing light clothes and had accidentally soiled her skirt without warning. Shao Wen'ang happened to come to the residence to see her. He noticed her distress at a glance and was the one who proactively found an excuse to take off his outer robe to cover her.
She had always remembered that incident. Whenever she thought of it in the past, her heart would flutter because of his thoughtfulness and consideration.
It turned out that all his former kindness came because Cao Lingchun had first caught his attention and taught him these things. Cao Lingchun had planted the tree, and she was the one enjoying the shade.
Her brow furrowed tightly. She was deeply unsettled and had no desire to continue chatting with Cao Lingchun. She said indifferently, "Then I'll have to trouble you to take care of things."
Song Hemei turned and walked toward the side chamber, eager to get as far away from these two people as possible.
The maids had already tidied up her room. Jin'er and Yin'er had also arranged her usual belongings. And so she settled down to live in the Shao residence.
Perhaps because of Shao Wen'ang's misfortune, Madam Shao treated her a bit more kindly. The keys to the Shao family's storehouses were also handed over to her. During the day, she was busy managing the accounts, which also gave her an excuse to only exchange a few words when visiting Shao Wen'ang before leaving.
She lived peacefully in the Shao residence, and everyone was satisfied.
Her mother sometimes came to keep her company and talk, but if she talked too much, Song Hemei didn't want to listen. There was a rift between them after all. Even with her mother, she felt they could no longer be as close as before.
Jin'er no longer dared to act on her own authority against Song Hemei's orders, but there were some things she could no longer entrust to her.
Song Hemei also managed to move a considerable number of the Shao family's farmland and shops into her own storehouses. She had more money on hand than when she was at her maiden home. She simply hired two maidservants from outside to clean the Yu Family Courtyard, so that if Yu Yeqing returned, she could be informed immediately.
But four months passed in this manner, and there was never any news.
By the time Shao Wen'ang's injuries had fully healed, he had become moody and unpredictable. He spent all day locked in his room, refusing to go out. When his temper flared, he had injured several young servants and maids.
But he was better when he saw her. Perhaps he was still putting on an act of deep devotion, or perhaps he felt guilty and evasive because he saw how she had padded her waist to make herself look several months pregnant.
Cao Lingchun's pregnancy was a difficult one. Everyone in the Shao family watched her closely. Her belly grew alarmingly large, and she wobbled when she walked.
Before the birth, Cao Lingchun was secretly sent out of the residence overnight. Song Hemei accompanied Madam Shao and a few tight-lipped maids. Outside the door, she clearly heard Cao Lingchun screaming hoarsely, which stirred waves of unease in her heart.
But unlike her, Madam Shao's expression was calm. Even sensing her unease, she said soothingly, "Don't worry, nothing will happen. The Shao family's offspring cannot be allowed to have any trouble at this time."
A midwife skilled in feeling the bones had already been arranged for this child. It was expected to be a male. Madam Zhang sat composed and relaxed, simply waiting to hold her grandson.
Song Hemei's hand rested on her lower abdomen; beneath her palm was the soft padding she had used to fill out her gown. But the cries from inside the room were too harrowing, making her feel as though she could also experience that kind of excruciating pain.
Suddenly, a midwife ran out with blood on her hands and nodded to Madam Zhang. "Old Madam, the child is truly too large, making the delivery difficult. May I have your decision?"
Madam Zhang raised a finger. "Go ahead. Do not harm my grandson."
The midwife acknowledged the order and returned to the room. Just before the door closed completely, Song Hemei clearly saw through the crack that the midwife had picked up the scissors on the table.
Her heart lurched violently, and a roaring sound filled her ears.
The child was too large, making delivery difficult. So what were they going to do? Cut the mother open?
Cao Lingchun's plain yet gentle face suddenly flashed before her eyes. Instinctively, she wanted to speak up to stop them. "Mother—"
"Xiao He, this is nothing out of the ordinary. Don't look so inexperienced."
Song Hemei didn't know what her own face looked like at that moment, but it must have been pale and shocked.
And Madam Zhang stood beside her, half her face hidden in the darkness, looking like a smiling demon, every word she spoke stained with blood.
"Lingchun couldn't have survived anyway. If she lived, the child could never truly be yours."
She said it casually. "It's better for the child to be nourished well in her belly, raised plump and white. It's like a mother clam giving birth to a pearl. To cultivate a large, bright pearl, the mother clam's flesh must be broken open."
Song Hemei suddenly felt dizzy. The autumn wind struck her back in the dead of night, yet it made cold sweat break out all over her, chilling her limbs.
When she came back to her senses, there was a heavy weight in her arms.
"Xiao He, hold your son."
It truly was a big pearl, white and plump. Washed clean, wrapped tightly.
But looking at the thing in her arms, Song Hemei felt as though she were staring at a ghostly demon.
Especially because this demon was born with a particularly loathsome face. Between the brows and eyes, it looked far too much like Shao Wen'ang.
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