Chapter 76: The Verdant Hills, a Solitary Return
A'yuan's expression was grim. She locked the woodshed door and walked until she was out of sight around a corner before stopping. She found a large rock by the roadside and sat down. She looked down at her hands, spread open on her knees, and Gao Yunqu's words from earlier surfaced in her mind. She raised a hand, slowly turning it over. She curled her four fingers, clenched them into a fist, then slowly released them. She was only in her thirties, in the prime of her life, and her hands were strong. Yet when she clenched her fist, she couldn't hold onto anything at all. She noticed some dirt on her fingers and rubbed her hands together vigorously, scrubbing away the soil from her fingertips. As she did, she inevitably brushed against the old calluses between her knuckles. Her left thumb lingered there for a long time, pressing against the hardened flesh and rubbing it gently.
It flows to the sea, yet is never sullied.
Heh. She gave a self-deprecating laugh. If it were possible, who wouldn't want to rush to the sea with their original, pure intentions intact? Could she not clear her name? And what if she did? She never dreamed of returning to her original state; she only wanted to burn all this filth to ashes.
"Mother!" A soft, childish voice called to her from a distance. She came back to her senses, the harsh look in her eyes vanishing. She clapped her hands, stood up, and smiled as she went to meet the little girl running toward her.
The little girl threw herself at her, hugging her legs. She looked up, revealing a pair of clear, glistening eyes. A'yuan stroked the top of her head, took her hand, and led her back the way they came.
"Where did you go, Mother?" The girl sounded aggrieved; she had been scared when she couldn't find her mother.
A'yuan said softly, "Mother had work to do. Has A'chu finished her lessons?"
"Mhm! I finished! A'chu can recite it now!"
"Is that so? Recite it for Mother, then."
"Diligence pairs with thrift, cleverness with obedience. A waterside pavilion with a mountain study. Iced peaches with snow lotus root1..." The child's clear voice brought back old dreams of childhood. Once, there had been another little girl who chattered in her ear, reciting texts. She had found her noisy and deliberately, mischievously told her she was reciting it wrong, making her cry for a long time. And for as long as she cried, she had coaxed her.
"...Rivers and seas... rivers and seas..." A'chu was still young and forgot the lines as she recited, scratching her head in frustration.
A'yuan looked at the distant mountains and dense forests, gently finishing for her: "A lone trace on rivers and seas, where cloudy waves and stormy gales startle a traveler's dream; a hometown thousands of miles away, where misty peaks and clouded trees stir feelings of return.1" The home she could not return to was not thousands of miles away, but just beyond these mountain forests. It was close enough to touch, yet she could not take a single step toward it.
"Ah, yes, yes! Mother, you're amazing!"
They recited as they walked, and by the time they returned home, Jiao Youchang was drinking with Qi Chenghai. Jiao Youchang was the chieftain of the Wazhai Stronghold, and Qi Chenghai could be considered its strategist. Wazhai was said to be the largest bandit stronghold for miles around, but in reality, it was secretly supported by the Qi Family.
When A'chu saw her father, she hid timidly behind A'yuan. Jiao Youchang had a stern, fierce face and was rarely home, so it was common for a small child to be afraid of him.
"A'chu, come to Father." Jiao Youchang saw them enter and beckoned to A'chu.
A'chu clung to A'yuan's leg and wouldn't let go. Jiao Youchang felt he had lost face. He hardened his expression, about to scold her, but before he could speak, A'yuan retorted, "What are you being so fierce for? How long has it been since you were last back? And you blame A'chu for not recognizing you?"
Jiao Youchang knew he was in the wrong and sheepishly drank his wine without another word.
Qi Chenghai quickly tried to smooth things over. "Sister-in-law, don't be angry. Big Brother has duties to attend to. If he can secure a future for himself, won't you, A'yi, and A'chu all benefit?"
"Hmph. You say that every year, but I've yet to see you make a name for yourselves." A'yuan's expression remained displeased. She turned and sent A'chu outside to play.
"Has something upset you, Sister-in-law?" Qi Chenghai was a veteran of the pleasure quarters and more perceptive than Jiao Youchang. "Who bullied you? Your humble little brother will go vent your anger for you!"
A'yuan took the opportunity to sit at the table, lowering her voice to ask, "The one locked in the old house's woodshed—what's the plan for her? Is there a definite word?"
Qi Chenghai's expression turned serious. "What? Has she been causing trouble?"
"Not at all," A'yuan said, putting on a disgusted expression and frowning. "It's not that. She's locked up in there, and never mind bringing her food and water, but I also have to clean up her waste... I am, after all, the chieftain's wife, aren't I? Spending all day doing such filthy work—is this the 'future' you were talking about?"
Jiao Youchang, having been embarrassed by her in front of others twice now, felt awkward. He slammed his cup down and scolded, "If you're told to go, then go! Why all the chatter!"
"To hell with you! You go if you want to!" A'yuan slammed her bowl down and cursed back.
Qi Chenghai quickly interceded, "Sister-in-law, don't be upset. This matter is truly of great importance, and we can't risk any leaks. Please, bear with us a little longer."
A'yuan heeded his words, her expression softening. She asked again, "Then you at least have to tell me how I should treat her. Who is she that she's so important?"
Qi Chenghai thought for a moment, then said to her, "There's no harm in telling you, Sister-in-law. We're all family here, so I'll be frank. She's a high-ranking official from above who came to Chuzhou stirring up this and that, causing widespread public resentment. We're eliminating a pest for the people, so we captured her to vent the anger of Chuzhou's common folk."
"A corrupt official? Why not just kill her?" A'yuan frowned.
"That won't do. The blood of an imperially appointed official isn't so easily shed. We'll keep her locked up for now. If the capital doesn't send anyone to investigate, it means this corrupt official has no powerful backing. It won't be too late to kill her then." Qi Chenghai's eyes darted about as he came up with a story to placate her. "If you find her troublesome, Sister-in-law, you don't have to watch her so closely. It's only right she suffers a bit. Just remember to bring her food so she doesn't die."
"As you say." A'yuan nodded in agreement, pretending to have believed him completely. She then tried to subtly inquire about what they had been busy with recently. The two men were tight-lipped and said nothing. Seeing she couldn't get any information, A'yuan found an excuse and left.
For some unknown reason, the stronghold had been very busy lately. The able-bodied men were training more diligently than ever and were being led out in waves, but none were seen returning. Jiao Youchang was away from home all day; she would barely see him a few times in a ten-day period. Although this spared her from having to feign civility with him, it also meant she couldn't glean any news. As A'yuan managed the household chores, she wondered what had caused this change. Was it related to the person in the woodshed? She couldn't help but feel anxious, but she secretly calmed herself so she could continue to feign ignorance.
"Mother..." A young boy, just over ten, called to her hesitantly from behind the door.
A'yuan turned around. The boy behind the door was growing quickly; he had shot up since his last visit home. "A'yi? What is it?" Jiao Youchang never said it, but in his heart, he still preferred his son. A'yi had been by his side since he was small, learning martial arts and helping with tasks, clearly being raised as the heir to the chieftain. He was rarely home.
"It's nothing. I've gotten taller. I wanted to let Mother see." A'yi broke into a smile.
A'yuan walked closer and patted his head, asking gently, "Where has your father been taking you? Look at you, your hands are all scraped up. I'll have to have a word with him."
A'yi pulled his hands back, trying to hide them. "Into the mountains. I got the cuts by accident, it's not Father's fault."
"Come, let Mother put some medicine on them. Did you fall down the mountain or something?" A'yuan pulled A'yi down to sit, chiding him playfully. It was rare for A'yi to experience such care from his mother, and coaxed by her, he recounted everything he had seen and heard recently.
"...Mother, you wouldn't believe it, I saw a military formation! A real one! The kind for fighting wars! The older brothers are so amazing!"
A'yuan froze. "Your father took you to Quzhou?"
"No, it was right in the mountains, on Crouching Tiger Peak up ahead. There's a military camp inside, I didn't even know it was so close to us!" Chuzhou had a martial culture, and boys loved such things. His eyes shone as he spoke, describing how magnificent the armor and weapons were. He spoke with great authority, repeating bits and pieces the adults had told him for his mother. "...The older brothers from the stronghold are in there too, I saw them."
A'yuan's heart pounded. Chuzhou had its own prefectural soldiers, but they would never be stationed on Crouching Tiger Peak, nor would they possess such elite equipment. Even if it were a troop transfer, the Wazhai were bandits. How could they possibly be mixed in with a regular army unit? What was going on?
"A'yi! Let's go!" Outside, Jiao Youchang and Qi Chenghai had finished their food and wine. They called for A'yi, preparing to leave.
A'yuan led A'yi out of the inner room and asked Jiao Youchang, "Leaving already?"
Jiao Youchang assumed she was reluctant to see him go and said patiently, "There's a lot going on lately. I haven't been able to look after you. It's been hard on you."
"Pah. Just go and be busy. I'm only reluctant to see A'yi go," A'yuan said, knowing what Jiao Youchang liked to hear, deliberately feigning insincerity.
"Yes, yes, of course. It won't be many more days. Success or failure hinges on this one move. Wait for my return, my lady!" Jiao Youchang fell for it, as expected, and laughed heartily.
Success or failure hinges on this one move.
Night fell. A'yuan mulled over the words of Jiao Youchang, Qi Chenghai, and A'yi again and again. She felt that the opportunity she had waited more than ten years for was finally at hand. Her heart had never beaten so wildly; it felt as if it would leap from her chest at any moment. She pressed a hand to her heart, hesitating, wondering whether to give in to the impulse. Their success or failure hinged on this one move, and so did hers.
She had been abducted and brought up the mountain by Jiao Youchang, so he always feared she would escape. But when she caught a glimpse of the weapons and smelting tools in the stronghold, she knew she could never get away. What they were doing in the mountains could not see the light of day. If she did not comply, only death awaited her. She spent a long time transitioning from her initial struggles to compromise and obedience, making everyone in the stronghold believe she had accepted her fate. Gradually, she earned some standing, managing Jiao Youchang's internal affairs and helping with the stronghold's general accounts. But while Jiao Youchang was fond of her, he never once let down his guard. She knew this clearly and was never impatient, only watching silently, probing quietly, with extreme patience. Jiao Youchang was not particularly tight-lipped and would occasionally reveal some confidential matters to her. He didn't care if she knew these secrets; as long as she couldn't leave the stronghold, it didn't matter what she knew.
Lying on the couch, she rubbed the calluses on her fingers. Gao Yunqu's words had not been without effect. For the past two days, she kept thinking of the old days. She had once tried desperately to avoid remembering the past; the more vivid her former self was, the more lifeless her present self seemed, making her numb heart ache with a piercing pain. Jiao Youchang always thought that what was done was done. With two children born, her heart should have settled and put down roots. But she had never, for a single moment, forgotten who she was.
Her name was not A'yuan. Her name was Zhong Yao. At twenty, upon her capping ceremony, she was given the courtesy name "Guiyuan." Her home was in Chuzhou city. She had parents who loved her deeply and had high hopes for her, and like-minded friends who were closer than kin. After more than ten years of arduous study, she had mastered both literature and martial arts. She had her own ideals and beliefs. She was not someone's wife, not someone's mother. She was simply herself.
Author's Notes
1From Li Weng Dui Yun (The Rhyming Thesaurus of Li Yu).
Zhong Yao's name: From Liu Changqing's "Seeing Off the Monk Lingche": Cang cang zhu lin si, yao yao zhong sheng wan. He li dai xie yang, qing shan du gui yuan. (Deep green, the bamboo forest temple; distant, the evening bell tolls. A bamboo hat in the slanting sun; from the verdant hills, a solitary return.)
Question: Who is Zhong Yao? Does anyone remember?
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