Chapter 81: The Choice
When Xie Min and Zhong Yao returned, Wei Licheng and Cheng Zhaoyang had already arrived. Gao Yunqu was the highest-ranking official among them, and even in a worn, brown robe, her commanding presence was undeniable. She effortlessly took charge.
She sat at a table holding A'chu, a map spread out before her, listening to everyone's reports as she examined it. Fang Jian had already told her what had happened after her imprisonment. Wei Licheng's arrival meant that the Wazhai Stronghold was now under control.
"Are the mines in the back secured?" Gao Yunqu asked Wei Licheng. A'chu, in her arms, lifted her clear, dark eyes and looked at Wei Licheng along with her, looking utterly adorable.
Wei Licheng, however, faced her as if she were a commanding general, straightening her back and answering stiffly, "Yes, they have all been taken!"
Gao Yunqu nodded faintly in acknowledgment. "The Chuzhou rebellion is now a certainty. What we must do next is eliminate the rebels as quickly as possible and pacify Chuzhou. Do you have any strategies?"
Wei Licheng hesitated. "Shouldn't we wait for orders from the capital?" She was a military officer, and deserting one's post was a major taboo. Her concern was only natural.
"Your Majesty stationed you at the border of Quzhou and Chuzhou precisely to guard against unrest in Chuzhou. Before I left the capital, Her Majesty told me that the New Policies are a delicate matter where one move affects the whole. If unrest were to break out, I could mobilize nearby troops to suppress it. This is the Military Tally." Gao Yunqu took the Military Tally from her robes and placed it on the table. Wei Licheng picked it up, examined it carefully, and then respectfully placed it back. Now, Gao Yunqu was truly her superior officer.
Seeing that no one had any objections, Gao Yunqu gestured to Zhong Yao. "Tell us your plan."
Zhong Yao took a step forward and performed a solemn scholar's salutation. "I am Zhong Yao. I greet you, my lords." The others, having just been told of her identity by Gao Yunqu, were filled with respect and returned the gesture. She continued, "The Wazhai Stronghold is easy to defend and hard to attack. The reason we succeeded so smoothly was that the stronghold was empty. My idea is to feign that the stronghold has been breached and the old and young have been captured, luring the able-bodied men back to provide aid. Then, we can catch them like turtles in a jar." She held out her hand, her five fingers closing into a tight fist, her eyes gleaming.
"They likely left the stronghold at the summons of the great families of Chuzhou. Will they return so easily?" Cheng Zhaoyang asked.
"They will. The iron mine behind the stronghold is the largest vein in Chuzhou. The weapons and armor forged there are Chuzhou's arsenal, supplying not only the private armies of the various strongholds but also being sold to the southern barbarians. How could they let it go so easily?"
"Damn it! No wonder those southern barbarians have become more and more rampant these past two years. So it was because of vermin like these!" Wei Licheng fumed.
Fang Jian pondered for a moment before asking, "Then how do we make them believe it?"
Zhong Yao's lips curled into a sarcastic smile. "I was the chieftain's wife for so many years, after all. Jiao Youchang will trust my people."
Just as Zhong Yao had predicted, when Jiao Youchang received the message, he broke out in a sweat and hurriedly asked Qi Chenghai for advice. Qi Chenghai was also pale. He was merely from a branch of the Qi Family; because he had some ability, he had privately latched onto Qi Daoning and secured the lucrative position at Wazhai. Now that Wazhai was lost, he could not escape the blame. But they dared not conceal such important news and reported it to Qi Chengming with trembling hands.
"When did this happen?" Qi Chengming was so furious he nearly fell over. Qi Daochong quickly supported his father.
"It was this morning. Someone from the stronghold escaped during the chaos and reported it to me," Jiao Youchang answered cautiously, bowing his body.
Qi Daoning, standing to the side, raised an eyebrow. "Is it credible? Could it be a feint?"
Jiao Youchang was already covered in a cold sweat. He bowed low again. "The messenger is one of my wife's people. It's credible."
Qi Daochong glared at Jiao Youchang and volunteered, "Father, we cannot lose Wazhai. I will go and take it back!"
"No." Qi Chengming's refusal was decisive. "If you and I appear before the government troops, there will be no turning back. You will dispatch a contingent of men and have Youchang and Chenghai lead them. If you can't take it back, you needn't come back at all!"
"Yes!"
Qi Daoning exited the main tent, her personal attendant following close behind. The two walked to a secluded spot, where the attendant whispered something in her ear.
"The government troops didn't suffer heavy losses? Understood. Suppress it as before, no need to report it… It's fine, they're bent on trapping a dog in a closed yard… Yelang-like arrogance…" Qi Daoning knew all too well what her father and brother were thinking. The lines of intelligence were in her hands; with a timely push here and a glossing over there, she could make their ambitions swell until they blinded them. "The government troops breaking into Wazhai means they've likely joined up with Gao Lushuang. Releasing someone to call for help now is probably a plan to encircle the reinforcements. Let them go. Return to the city immediately and pass the news to my elder sister. She'll know what to do."
Qi Chenghai and Jiao Youchang hastily assembled their men. Only on the road did they have time to think things through. They had considered the possibility of a government trap, but the messenger had said the government troops only won after a bloody battle from night to day because the stronghold lacked reinforcements. The troops should be exhausted. They also knew the weak points, so they believed they had a high chance of success. As the two discussed it, their minds gradually settled. They spurred their horses onward. The closer they got to the stronghold, the more signs of fighting they saw. Their families were all in the stronghold, and the atmosphere of anxiety among the able-bodied men grew more palpable. When they neared the gate and saw the bodies of their people scattered by the roadside, their fury reached its peak. The sparse and bedraggled-looking government soldiers on the gate tower only fueled the bandits' contempt.
A great battle was unavoidable. The bandits were overcome with rage. Though they were fierce, they were no longer listening to commands. Jiao Youchang seized the opportunity and ordered them to charge and reclaim their home. But just as they rushed forward, Wei Licheng gave a command, and soldiers in full armor, holding sharp weapons, emerged from their hiding places in the gate tower. Jiao Youchang knew this was bad, but there was no room for retreat. He steeled himself and charged. The two armies collided, kicking up a cloud of dust. Blades met, blood flew, and roars of anger mingled with cries of agony. The battlefield never changes its cruel nature, regardless of which side is stronger or more just.
Gao Yunqu and Fang Jian stood on a safe high ground, looking down upon the bloody slaughter below. Cheng Zhaoyang and Xie Min were responsible for protecting them and did not join the fray. They were warriors who had seen such scenes too many times to be much affected. The government troops in the stronghold far outnumbered the bandits, and with their superior equipment, training, and tactical advantage of the terrain, there was little suspense in the outcome, in their eyes.
But it was not so for Gao Yunqu and Fang Jian. This was the first time they had directly witnessed war. The scent of blood drifted over with the wind, reminding Fang Jian of her first time entering the Jingzhao Prefecture prison. She couldn't help but look at Gao Yunqu. Gao Yunqu stood before her, her gaze fixed almost unblinkingly on the bloody battle below. Others might not have noticed, praising her mental fortitude, but Fang Jian, who had once been so intimate with her, could see the tension beneath her calm and composed exterior.
Fang Jian took a step closer and asked softly, "My lord, won't you go back and wait?"
Gao Yunqu sighed. "The ancients said: the merciful cannot command troops, the emotional cannot establish things. But those in high positions cannot only look up and afar; they must also be able to look down. We must know that every decision we make determines the fate of countless common people."
"A'jian, remember this: it is easy to turn the world upside down, but there is a weight behind it. If you indulge in power plays, you will only end up playing yourself."
The great stone that had been hanging over Fang Jian's head finally fell, but it felt like no more than a gentle breeze, scattering her agitation and unease. It was just like when Gao Yunqu had taught her to read and to judge people all those years ago—gentle and calm, yet admitting no doubt. Fang Jian had long been filled with regret. That dream, with the weight of Gao Yunqu's life, had been her wake-up call.
She looked at Gao Yunqu's profile and said earnestly, "My lord, I was wrong."
"Good," Gao Yunqu replied, letting the matter drop. "Watch carefully. From now on, think more before you act."
"Yes."
The battle raged for a long time, only settling as the sun slanted west. The government troops suffered some casualties, but all within expectations. The majority of the bandits were annihilated, with the rest either scattered or taken captive. It was a great victory.
The soldiers were clearing the battlefield. Zhong Yao walked among them, looking at each body. When she saw a familiar face, she would close their eyes for them. Xie Min accompanied her, walking by her side. Neither of them spoke.
Jiao Youchang's body was not hard to find. Zhong Yao dragged it out; she lacked the strength, so Xie Min lent her a hand. Zhong Yao pulled out the swords and knives piercing Jiao Youchang's body one by one, then crouched down to look at his familiar face and sighed. "To be honest, he wasn't bad to me. Even at the very beginning, he never forced me, waiting until I nodded. But how could I not hate him? To have one's wings clipped, one's bones broken—that kind of pain is far worse than death."
Xie Min did not reply, listening quietly as a dull ache throbbed in her chest.
"He probably thought he was coming back to save me, even at the moment of his death. Little did he know that I was the one who set the trap that led him to his doom." Zhong Yao reached out and closed Jiao Youchang's eyes, which were still open in death. "We owe each other nothing now. It would be best if we never meet again in the next life."
"My lady…" A peasant woman walked over, hesitating to speak as she called out to Zhong Yao. Xie Min recognized her as one of Zhong Yao's people.
Zhong Yao stood up and looked at her. "What is it?"
The woman's eyes were filled with sorrow. She said nothing, only glancing in a certain direction. Zhong Yao seemed to realize something and followed her gaze.
The people clearing the battlefield along the path made way for her, and then she saw the little boy lying quietly on the ground.
She walked steadily to A'yi's side and crouched down, looking at him in silence. It had been a long time since she had looked at A'yi closely. Compared to A'chu, she had truly not been attentive to A'yi. He was born in her second year of marriage to Jiao Youchang. At that time, she was still very young, tormented constantly by resentment and pain, and she didn't really know how to face A'yi. As he grew older, Jiao Youchang decided to raise him personally, and she readily handed A'yi over to him. When he was ten, Jiao Youchang took him on a raid and made him draw blood. When A'yi returned, he excitedly presented his spoils to his mother, but Zhong Yao's expression changed. She had a huge fight with Jiao Youchang, but he said casually that all the boys in the stronghold grew up this way and told her not to meddle. A'yi didn't understand her strong reaction either. And so she gave up hope. A'yi was destined to become another Jiao Youchang. After that, she only watched over A'chu and paid no more mind to A'yi's affairs.
The last time she saw A'yi, he had told her he had grown taller, but Zhong Yao hadn't looked closely. Now, she finally had the time and leisure to look at him carefully. She had always pictured him as a small bundle, but in reality, he already had the faint outline of an adult. His features resembled Jiao Youchang more, though some parts looked like her.
Zhong Yao reached out and wiped the dirt from his face. He lay there, his eyes closed peacefully, a long arrow piercing his heart. Zhong Yao gripped the arrow, pulled it out with force, and tossed it aside. She had no way of knowing why Jiao Youchang had brought his not-yet-adult son to this battle, or if he had felt fear and regret when facing blades and arrows. She just kept vigil by her son's side for a long, long time, looking at him earnestly, memorizing his face. She stayed until the sun set and the sky darkened, until she could no longer see clearly. She leaned down, placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, held him one last time, and said goodbye.
"I'm sorry."
Zhong Yao buried Jiao Youchang and A'yi in the mountains—two small, nameless grave mounds.
She scattered the last handful of earth and sat down on a large rock by the road to rest. Xie Min had been with her the entire time, from beginning to end, not speaking, just watching from the side. She thought Zhong Yao probably needed some time to herself.
Zhong Yao suddenly let out a laugh and said, "When Lord Gao asked about A'yi, I said I would leave it to fate to decide, to see if A'yi would choose me. Ha, fate favored me for once. It made the choice for me."
"I… I never protected him, never tried to save him, and never taught him. Does this count as punishing someone without having taught them?"
She didn't want an answer from anyone and continued on her own. "Until I saw him, I kept thinking, how should I treat A'yi? He is my son, but he is also Jiao Youchang's son, the young chieftain of Wazhai, a bandit who has shed blood. I would protect him, but how would he see me? And how should I treat him? Thankfully, I don't have to choose. I'm actually relieved. Can someone like me even be called a mother?"
She stared at the grave mounds in a daze, and then she heard Xie Min call her name.
"A'yao," Xie Min placed a hand on her shoulder. "You never had to choose. You are yourself first, and only then a mother, a daughter, a friend, or anything else."
"Don't you find me selfish and terrifying?" Zhong Yao placed her own hand on the back of Xie Min's. Xie Min's hand was very warm. She turned her palm over and clasped Zhong Yao's cold fingers in her own.
"There is very little a person can do. Most of the time, just taking care of oneself is already difficult enough; where would one find the spare energy to manage others? If this is selfishness, then be a selfish person. At least it supported you until our reunion." Xie Min gently embraced her, letting her lean against her.
Zhong Yao wrapped her arms around her waist, buried her face in her abdomen, her hands gradually tightening, holding on and not letting go. Xie Min stood before her, her warm palm gently stroking her hair, accompanying her, watching over her, hiding her fragile, heavy, and silent weeping.
In those scalding tears was her life of the past thirteen years.
Author's Notes
I wrote about Zhong Yao's complex feelings for Jiao Youchang and A'yi because she is a person, and thirteen years carry weight. She isn't crying for her husband and son; she is crying for her past self, turning this page to welcome a new chapter.
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