Chapter 50: Preference
Song Hemei halted mid-step, turning back in surprise at the words. She saw Yu Yeqing propping himself up with one hand on the table, his silhouette appearing so lonely in that moment.
Her elder brother's words from three years ago echoed once more in her mind. At this moment, even if she were the dullest person alive, she could guess that her brother had meddled in the matter.
In truth, she didn't like this. She didn't understand why, when she was right in front of him, he wouldn't speak plainly, instead insisting on waiting until they entered Changzhou so she could go ask her brother.
But somehow, looking at Yu Yeqing's expression now, she inexplicably felt that it would be a cruel thing for him to be the one to reveal the hidden circumstances.
After a brief pause, she took the initiative to speak: "So will you be staying at the Song residence?"
"No need; I imagine there are some who do not wish to see me." Yu Yeqing's voice still carried a trace of hoarseness. "Besides, I have property and a house in Changzhou as well."
Song Hemei let out a light snort. "Property and a house? Anyone listening would think that house of yours and those few acres are some great fortune."
She straightened her clothes, turned, and walked toward the door.
Fine, if he didn't want to stay, then don't stay. If she hadn't been sending people to tidy it up all these years, that shabby house of his would have been unfit for anyone to live in!
Song Hemei stopped worrying about him, took a deep breath, and pushed the door open just a crack. She peeked outside, saw no one, and then quickly hurried toward her own room.
Before she had left her room earlier, candles had already been lit. Now, upon entering, she could clearly see her own reflection in the bronze mirror. She stepped closer and noticed that her clothes had wrinkled, the rouge on her lips was almost gone, yet her lips were unusually red, and even her hair bun had loosened somewhat.
She stared at the mirror, momentarily stunned. The fiery sensation on her lips seemed not yet to have faded, tugging at her heart so that it raced a couple of times.
Song Hemei bit her lip in frustration. She must have been bewitched, letting him take such liberties.
But after all this, she was left in such a disheveled state—could Yu Yeqing be faring any better?
Her ears seemed unusually sharp at that moment. She thought she heard the sound of a door opening from the adjacent room. Realizing the trouble, she quickly stepped out in three brisk strides and, sure enough, saw Yu Yeqing's back just as he was about to turn toward the side room.
"Wait."
She suddenly called out. Yu Yeqing paused mid-step and turned back with a hint of doubt in his eyes, as if puzzled why she had come out again. But she couldn't care less about that now—her eyes were fixated solely on the red stain on his lips and even the trace of a bite mark on his jaw.
Song Hemei felt a headache coming on. She had truly been impulsive, leaving such a mark—how would he face others tomorrow?
She strode two steps forward and raised a hand to pat at the claw marks she'd left on his chest, only to realize they wouldn't be smoothed out in a few pats. But this action made Yu Yeqing freeze in place.
"What are you doing?"
His Adam's apple bobbed as he looked down at her. In the bright candlelight of the inn, she could see the suspicion and surprise in his eyes even more clearly.
They had parted on less than good terms just now, and yet she had come back out to block him immediately after returning to her room. She felt her face couldn't take it.
Song Hemei said irritably, "Don't you have a bronze mirror in your room? Why didn't you change your clothes before coming out?"
She glanced at the remains of her rouge still on his lips and, without further thought, pulled a handkerchief from her bosom and wiped at it roughly.
But at the touch of his warm breath on her fingertips, Song Hemei felt as if she had been scorched. She instinctively tried to pull her hand back, but Yu Yeqing caught hold of it.
"Didn't you say you didn't want him to disturb you?"
Song Hemei was momentarily stunned by his words. She thought about it for a second before understanding.
He was afraid Lianzhu would keep making a fuss and cling to her, so he hadn't wasted time changing clothes.
Song Hemei's eyelashes fluttered slightly. Avoiding his gaze, she lowered her voice: "You didn't have to be in such a rush…"
She twisted her wrist, but Yu Yeqing still held her firmly without letting go.
The scent of osmanthus from her handkerchief filled his nostrils. He unconsciously inhaled deeply, even feeling an impulse to kiss her fingertips. But Song Hemei used some force to pull her hand free.
The handkerchief she held slipped from his fingers.
His now-empty hand drew back into his sleeve, clenched tightly. Yu Yeqing's long lashes drooped, concealing the look in his eyes, but he didn't know how to ease the astringent tightness in his chest.
Song Hemei, however, felt a strange flutter in her heart at his words. She couldn't tell if he was deliberately saying such things.
She forced a stern expression, lest he notice the uncontrollable ripples stirring within her, and said with feigned nonchalance, "Don't drag me into this. Who knows if you've just been enjoying playing father for half a day. Anyway, go sort yourself out."
She didn't look at him again. Hurrying back to her room, she hastily closed the door behind her, then leaned her entire back against it. Instinctively, she raised a hand to press over her heart and took a few deep breaths.
The handkerchief in her hand now seemed to carry his searing heat as well. Looking at it closely, she could still see the traces of her own rouge that had been wiped from his lips.
This truly had become a hot potato. She couldn't just throw it away, could she? If she kept it and Chunhui or Suhui found it, she, as their mistress, would lose all face.
She paced a few steps around the room, then finally folded the handkerchief and tucked it beneath her cosmetics case.
Not long after, Chunhui came looking for her. Seeing her mistress safely in her room, she let out a long sigh of relief. "Madam, where did you go just now? This servant couldn't find you anywhere; you had me so worried."
Song Hemei glossed over it with a vague reply, borrowing Yu Yeqing's words from earlier.
Chunhui continued, "The young master kept fussing and wouldn't sleep, so this servant had no choice but to go find Lord Yu. He settled down once he saw Lord Yu, but now Lord Yu has taken him into his room. Would you like this servant to bring him back?"
Song Hemei gave a light snort. "No need. If Lord Yu doesn't mind the noise, let him handle it."
Could he really have gotten addicted to playing father? Or maybe… he had actually taken her words to heart?
Song Hemei pursed her lips, glanced at Chunhui standing by her side, and fearing she might detect something amiss, hurriedly told her to go rest.
But she didn't sleep well that night. Her dreams were a tangled mess of thoughts—first, she was back in the night three years ago at Yu Yeqing's place, watching him kneel before her, moonlight spilling over his taut waist and abdomen; then she saw her brother's displeased eyes as he told her that Yu Yeqing had deliberately left with people in order to avoid her with ulterior motives.
The next day on the road, Song Hemei's weary complexion was plain for anyone to see.
She stood by the roadside, staring blankly as the servants loaded luggage onto the carriage. Yu Yeqing, without her noticing, came to stand behind her. He watched her profile for a long moment; the words he wanted to say lingered on his lips, but in the end, only one came out: "Didn't you say it would take five days to reach Changzhou?"
Song Hemei snapped back to the present. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see him, but she didn't turn her head, only said faintly, "I was just stringing him along. You believed that?"
In these three years, her relationship with her family was no longer as close as it had been in her youth. She didn't want to return to her natal home, nor did she want to stay at the Shao residence. So she could only kill time on the road—even just a day or two was fine.
Yu Yeqing suddenly spoke out of the blue: "You shouldn't have chosen him."
Song Hemei felt his words were spoken from a place of easy privilege. Given the situation back then, even if he hadn't known what would happen later, he must have known about Shao Wen'ang's betrayal and the pressure from her family. Could she have chosen him instead of Shao Wen'ang back then?
The only fault was bad timing—his official position had come too slowly.
But even if he had attained an official post back then, could he have married her? He had never said that his heart belonged to her, nor that he wanted to marry her.
Who knew whether he truly had feelings for her, or whether he had never been with a woman before and so valued the first woman in his life a little too much.
She didn't speak, but Yu Yeqing's cold voice came again: "You went back to the Shao family because you knew you were carrying his child?"
Song Hemei was taken aback. What was all this?
But before she could respond, Yu Yeqing, lost in his own thoughts, continued without waiting: "You said that if you and I had a child, you wouldn't keep it. So why did you keep Lianzhu?"
He turned to stare at her, his gaze burning as if to see right through her.
"Was it because of Shao Wen'ang? Were you so devoted to him that you were willing to bear his child, even at the risk of your own life?"
Song Hemei, unnerved by his stare, felt flustered. She couldn't tell where the emphasis of his words truly lay.
Had he realized that the child might not be her own? Or was it… that he was displeased because she had been devoted to Shao Wen'ang?
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