Chapter 2: Watch. Remember.
When she woke the next day, Fang Jian stared at the patterns on the canopy of the bed for a long time, dazed. Her memory was a bit hazy; she couldn't recall how she had ended up here.
The room was large, the furnishings elegant and valuable. It was probably a guest room in the Gao estate.
She tried to move her body, only to find herself sore and weak. She had barely sat up before she collapsed back down. She was, however, clean and refreshed, and had been changed into clean clothes.
Hearing the movement, someone in the outer room pushed the door open and came in.
"Who is it?" Fang Jian clutched the corner of the blanket, her heart fluttering with panic.
The person who entered was a young woman, dressed as a servant of the estate.
"Young Lady," the newcomer said, seeing her wariness. She stood at a distance and spoke with a gentle smile. "My name is Xiuzhu. The Lord sent me to attend to you. From now on, you need only give me your instructions."
Xiuzhu was a cheerful and lively girl, about the same age as Fang Jian.
Fang Jian relaxed slightly. "Xiuzhu," she asked, "do you know who brought me here yesterday? And who... " Her face turned red, unable to finish the sentence.
Xiuzhu smiled knowingly. "The Lord carried you back. The Lord also washed you and changed your clothes personally."
Fang Jian's face was now completely crimson with shame.
Xiuzhu thoughtfully explained, "This is the inner residence of the Gao estate. The Lord's room is right next door. The Lord said to give you the day off today. Tomorrow, you are to be at the study, waiting for her, promptly at the hour of mao."
Xiuzhu rarely entered the inner rooms. She said it was a Gao family custom to handle daily tasks personally, to prevent the children from becoming spoiled and incompetent. This put Fang Jian somewhat at ease. She was of common birth and not accustomed to being waited on for every little thing. Feeling unwell and a bit unsettled, she stayed in her room all day, reciting her lessons when she had nothing else to do.
When night fell, there were some sounds from the next room. She had observed the room during the day and realized that what separated her room from Gao Yunqu's was not a wall, but a door. She hadn't dared to push it, but she knew that if Gao Yunqu wanted to, she could come over at any time. So when she heard the noise, she grew tense. Fortunately, Gao Yunqu didn't seem to have any plans. The lamp was lit and then quickly extinguished, and everything returned to silence. Fang Jian lay in bed, her ears pricked, but heard nothing. She didn't know when she fell asleep. Her dreams were filled with Gao Yunqu, and she drifted in and out of sleep, resting very poorly. When Xiuzhu woke her in the morning, she found she was covered in sweat.
It was the same study as the other day. Xiuzhu led her to the entrance and stopped, gesturing for her to go in by herself. So she pushed the door open and entered.
The first two times, her heart had been too full of apprehension to look closely. Today, she saw that half of the spacious study was filled with bookshelves, crammed with books—more than she would ever dare to dream of. Books were precious. Most of hers were hand-copied, one by one, from volumes borrowed from bookshops or classmates. Over the years, they amounted to barely a small chestful. But here there were so many, so many that it might take her a lifetime to copy them all.
By the window was Gao Yunqu's desk. It was there that yesterday... Fang Jian quickly averted her gaze, not daring to look again. A new, smaller desk had been added to the side, fully equipped with a brush, ink, paper, and an inkstone. A stack of books was piled beside it.
"Oh? You're here?" Gao Yunqu walked in from behind her, bypassed her, and went straight to the small desk. "Come here."
Fang Jian, forgetting her shyness, followed in a few steps.
Gao Yunqu patted the stack of books on the small desk. "This is your desk. From now on, I will arrange your studies. These are what you must finish reading this month."
Fang Jian flipped through the books and was surprised to find they were mostly histories and miscellaneous records. At the academy, her teachers had mainly taught the classics and rarely touched upon other subjects.
Gao Yunqu sat back down in her grand preceptor's chair. Seeing the surprise on Fang Jian's face, she spoke. "What? Are you wondering why you should read these miscellaneous books when the examinations are so close?"
Fang Jian nodded obediently.
Gao Yunqu said, "Do you know why your academy teachers never progressed beyond being government students their entire lives, while I was able to rank among the top three graduates?"
Fang Jian respectfully asked for her guidance, "Why is that?"
Gao Yunqu tapped the desk with her fingertip, then gestured to the bookshelves that filled the room. "Because of these. I had read every book in here by the time I was eighteen."
Fang Jian felt she had gained some insight, but she was still only half-understanding. Gao Yunqu, however, said no more on the subject.
"Alright. Go read your books. If you can't keep up, you'll be caned."
Fang Jian sat down at her desk. Before she could even begin to read, she looked up and saw the vertical scroll hanging on the opposite wall.
【When spring rains fall on southern skies, there reflects a form of snow and frost.】
A roar exploded in Fang Jian's ears. Her face flushed a burning red, the heat spreading from her cheeks to her neck. Of course she remembered that calligraphy.
Gao Yunqu had, at some point, moved to stand behind her. Her warm, gentle voice was right next to her ear. "I mounted it myself."
"Watch. Remember."
Gao Yunqu was a rare and brilliant teacher. Perplexities that Fang Jian had puzzled over for ages became crystal clear after just a few words of her guidance. But she was also the strictest of teachers. Poorly written characters had to be written hundreds of times over. Books that couldn't be memorized had to be recited while kneeling in the courtyard until they were. When she failed an examination, the sting of the ferule on her palm was real and sharp.
Fang Jian adapted quickly. She was grass that had sprouted from a crack in a stone. She greedily absorbed every drop of moisture, and having struggled to push her head out, there was nothing that could make her bend back down.
That included the business that took place in bed at night.
The door between the two rooms was like a forbidden line. By day, they were teacher and student. By night, she was a bird in Gao Yunqu's palm, her life and death, her tears and laughter, all held in the other's grasp.
At first, she was still terrified. Any rustle of wind or blade of grass from beyond the door made her heart clench. Later... later, she grew accustomed to it. When Gao Yunqu knocked lightly on the door, she would open it herself and walk over.
Gao Yunqu would be sitting casually on the edge of the bed, her hair unbound, her inner robe worn loosely. Seeing her enter, she would beckon. "Come."
And she would draw closer.
Gao Yunqu would rise and circle her once, letting fall a single, feather-light word: "Undress."
Her breath was very near. Fang Jian could smell the incense on Gao Yunqu's body. She felt like a puppet, driven by Gao Yunqu's voice, mechanically stripping off her clothes.
The candlelight was as bright as day. The tender, slender girl stood naked in the middle of the room. The older woman seemed to be admiring a fine piece of porcelain or jade, studying her with great interest. The girl curled her toes in embarrassment under that naked gaze.
"A bit thin. Eat more. You won't be able to hold up your official robes like this," Gao Yunqu said, lifting her into her arms. Suddenly airborne, Fang Jian instinctively wrapped her arms around Gao Yunqu's neck.
Gao Yunqu placed her on the bed, leaned over, and pinned both her hands above her head.
Her palms, having been struck by the ferule just that day, still ached. Fang Jian frowned slightly, but Gao Yunqu saw it. Propping herself up, Gao Yunqu released her wrists, touched her palm, and asked with a smile, "Does it hurt?"
"No, it doesn't hurt..." Fang Jian stammered in reply.
"It doesn't?" There was a smile in Gao Yunqu's eyes, but her hand squeezed harder, drawing a cry of surprise from the girl.
"It hurts..." The pressure made the corners of Fang Jian's eyes redden, a sight that stirred Gao Yunqu. She let go of her hand and leaned in to kiss the corner of her eye.
A flurry of soft, dense kisses traveled from the corner of her eye to the corner of her mouth, then captured her lips. Meanwhile, her hands slipped off her own clothes, and she pressed her naked body against the one in her arms. Their warm skin clung together, the rising heat suffusing the emptiness in her chest.
Fang Jian raised her hands to embrace the woman above her. She already knew what would happen next. She would be like a small, unmoored boat, tossed about by the waves. The bed would creak and groan, and her soul would feel as if it were being knocked from her body. Like a drowning person clinging to driftwood, she held Gao Yunqu tightly; she seemed to be the only real thing in all this illusion.
With her still-hot palm, she lightly touched Gao Yunqu's back and shoulders. The bones were slightly prominent. She's quite slender too... she thought, before being pulled into the next vortex. She bit down hard, resisting the onslaught of pleasure, not letting any shameful sounds escape.
But Gao Yunqu used her tongue to pry open her tightly clenched lips and teeth, as if opening a door. After that, the utterly shameless sounds could no longer be contained and spilled out completely.
"Don't hold back. Make some noise. I like it." Gao Yunqu's low, hoarse voice fell upon her ear, tempting her to sink into depravity.
"Lord, Lord..." Just as she was about to crest the peak, Gao Yunqu withdrew her hand. Fang Jian twisted her hips in torment, clumsily thrusting against her hand, begging for her mercy, her words fragmented.
"Good girl." Gao Yunqu held her down, a smile playing on her lips. Her fingers thrust deep and hard, drawing out a series of sweet, delicate moans and sending her over the edge.
Gao Yunqu pulled back her hand and gathered the still-trembling girl into her arms, gently stroking her back and shoulders to help her ride out the aftershocks of her climax.
She discovered she liked this little pet more than she had expected. She liked her discretion and her sense of propriety, she liked the way she carefully tried to please her, and she liked her slender yet straight spine. She liked the fire and ambition in her eyes, and that touch of ruthlessness she herself hadn't even noticed.
She had never had anyone by her side. At her age, she had started to feel a little restless. Fang Jian was a perfectly timed diversion, one she found herself becoming addicted to.
Fang Jian nestled in her arms, her rapid breaths slowly calming. Her mind cleared a little. She lifted her head from the embrace and glanced at her timidly. Gao Yunqu caught the small, animal-like look in her eyes. "Say what you want to say."
"Lord, you... aren't you still in mourning?" This question had been weighing on Fang Jian's mind for a long time.
"Heh," Gao Yunqu scoffed coldly. "As if that old scoundrel is worthy of me mourning him..."
Her father had married into the Gao family. Besides a handsome face, he had no other merits. He had lived a life of pleasure relying on the Gao family, yet was incited by a few words from others about his so-called dignity as a husband. He threw in his lot with those power-mongering, faction-forming dogs, betrayed the Gao family, and nearly brought it to ruin. Gao Yunqu couldn't even begin to hate him enough. If not for considerations of propriety and reputation, she wouldn't have even returned for the mourning period.
The past distracted Gao Yunqu for a moment. When she pulled herself from her memories, the girl in her arms had already succumbed to sleep. She watched Fang Jian for a while, patted her on the back, pulled the blanket over her, and, holding her, closed her own eyes.
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