Chapter 16: I Am Here
As summer set in, Wei Qi's belly began to swell, and she was often startled awake at night by cramping in her legs. A'zheng took to sleeping by her bedside, rising whenever she heard a sound to massage Wei Qi's calves. Wei Qi grew more and more accustomed to her presence. In the sleeping quarters, where it was just the two of them, she could speak of her pain and helplessness, and there was always someone who could understand her fatigue and anxiety. By day, she was the supreme emperor, unshaken by anything. But at night, she was just an ordinary woman who would imagine what her child would look like, complain of aches and discomfort, and speak of the panic her changing body brought her. And A'zheng was like a gentle older sister, who would coax her, soothe her, and tell her not to be afraid.
Wei Qi squinted, feeling A'zheng's warm hands kneading her calf. Sleepiness slowly faded, and she asked, "A'zheng, what is your name?"
"Your Majesty, this humble servant's name is Zheng Zhuoying," A'zheng replied, kneeling by the bed. Her hair was a little messy from sleep, with a few strands hanging down.
"'When the waters of the Canglang are clear, I can wash my tassels.' A fine name."
"My father had hoped I would study and have a future, but my parents died young and I had to depend on others, so that hope was lost," A'zheng said with a smile.
"And after that?"
"After that, well, I married early. Fortunately, my husband is a kind man, so life has been peaceful enough. It's just a pity…" A'zheng seemed to recall something. "Come to think of it, my husband and the elders all call me A'zheng, while others call me by my husband's family name. It's been many years since anyone has mentioned my given name. If Your Majesty hadn't asked, I would have almost forgotten it myself."
"How could you forget? That is the you that both you and your parents had such hopes for," Wei Qi said with a frown.
A'zheng's hands paused. Her heart seemed to skip a beat. After a moment, she resumed her movements. "Your Majesty is truly a gentle person."
The two fell silent for a moment.
After a while, Wei Qi said, "Have you memorized any books, A'zheng? Recite one for Us. We find We cannot sleep."
A'zheng thought for a moment. "Will the Classic of Mountains and Seas do?"
"You can recite the Classic of Mountains and Seas?"
"I was very fond of it as a child. I can still remember some of it."
"We like it too. Go on."
"The first of the Southern Mountain Classics is called the Magpie Mountain Classic. Its first peak is called Zhaoyao Mountain…"
Wei Qi had read the Classic of Mountains and Seas when she was just over ten. She had been the crown heir since birth, her every action governed by rules, and she rarely had a moment to spare. It was A'zhi who had found that copy of the Classic of Mountains and Seas in the library pavilion and, fearing her teacher would see it and punish her, had slipped it under her other books. She had opened it and become instantly captivated. What a vast and splendid world it was.
She adored the book and kept it within easy reach, reading a few pages whenever she was tired. Once, her mother saw it, and she felt a little ashamed; as the crown heir, she was not supposed to indulge in pleasure. But her mother did not punish her. That day, her mother seemed exceptionally gentle. She pulled Wei Qi into her arms and looked through the book with her, telling her the strange and fantastical stories. It was one of the few moments of warmth between them, like that of an ordinary mother and daughter, so warm that the memory was still fresh in Wei Qi's mind today.
"Mother…"
Hearing Wei Qi's murmur, A'zheng committed a small act of lese-majesty and lightly touched the shoulder of the emperor lying on her side. She patted her shoulder and back, just as she had years ago when lulling her young daughter to sleep.
As time went on, Wei Qi grew more anxious and more prone to anger. She threw a memorial back at Wei Zhi and gave her a harsh scolding. The young woman, who had been doted on by her mother and older sister since childhood, was stunned into place by the sudden outburst of fury. After a moment, Wei Qi calmed down a little and waved for Wei Zhi to leave. The Head Eunuch gave Wei Zhi a reassuring look, which calmed her slightly.
After Wei Zhi had withdrawn, Wei Qi covered her face, feeling a little fragile. The Head Eunuch watched her with a pained heart. She had attended to Her Majesty's daily life since she was a child and had watched this supreme person take every step from childhood to the present day.
"Head Eunuch," Wei Qi called softly, her face buried in her palms.
"Yes, Your Majesty, this servant is here."
"Do you think this child of Ours will be a girl?" Wei Qi would never forget the things her mother had told her as she clutched her hand on her deathbed. One of them was that three generations of empresses were still not enough; the next generation also had to be a female ruler.
"She certainly will be." A light flickered in the Head Eunuch's eyes before quickly vanishing.
That night, A'zheng massaged Wei Qi's calves. The young emperor could not sleep, staring blankly at the canopy above her.
A'zheng said softly, "Your Majesty, may this humble servant ask a question?"
Wei Qi came back to her senses, glanced at her, and said gently, "Ask."
"Why does Your Majesty want a girl so badly?"
"Because the time women have held power is still too short," Wei Qi sighed. "If the first child is a girl, she will be the rightful imperial eldest daughter and the future crown heir. That would save a lot of trouble."
A'zheng's heart pounded. "Is that so? But that is too great a burden for Your Majesty to bear."
"We are the inheritor of this realm. This is Our responsibility."
"Your Majesty…" Tears welled in A'zheng's eyes, but she fought to keep them from falling.
"A'zheng," Wei Qi looked at her, her eyes shimmering with a delicate light, "can you come up here? Hold Us."
"Yes." A'zheng nodded, carefully lying down on the emperor's bed. She embraced the young emperor from behind, their bodies pressing together, their warmth spreading from one to the other, enough to ward off the loneliness that filled the hall.
The day of delivery came quickly. Wei Qi announced in advance that the Eldest Princess Wei Zhi would act as regent, and then began to wait for the child's arrival.
The labor began at night. Wei Qi bit down hard, refusing to let any sound of pain escape. She glanced at the Head Eunuch, who nodded to signal that everything was arranged. She relaxed a little and focused on dealing with the pain in her body. Everything that needed to be arranged had long been entrusted to the Head Eunuch; all she had to do now was endure this torment and bring the child into the world. A'zheng stayed by her side, and she gripped A'zheng's hand tightly.
Outside the door was a restless Wei Zhi. Besides being Wei Qi's sister, she was also the regent appointed by the emperor. She understood Wei Qi's unspoken words: if anything unexpected happened, she would be the new ruler of this vast empire. She had solemnly dressed in the purple official robes of a royal prince, and the stately purple made her appear more composed, shedding some of her youthful willfulness and abandon. But this gave her no sense of security. She felt nervous and afraid. Beneath her wide sleeves, her fingers twisted the fabric of her inner garments. She missed Cui Miao's embrace. Whenever she retreated or fled, Cui Miao would always be there to support her from behind, to pull her into her arms. But Cui Miao was not here now; she could not enter the depths of the palace to be with her.
The ministers of the Council of State were also waiting. The entire upper echelon of the country would not sleep tonight.
Wei Zhi heard her sister's intermittent moans. Her eyes filled with anxious tears, and she paced back and forth outside the chamber. The Head Eunuch came out to give her updates and quietly soothe her. She couldn't hear a word, and when she tried to go inside, the Head Eunuch stopped her.
In a lull between pains, Wei Qi heard Wei Zhi sniveling outside and managed a weary smile. "What a silly child…"
"Your Majesty, it will be soon," A'zheng said, wiping the sweat from her brow and offering gentle encouragement.
"Mm…"
As dawn approached, the cry of a child echoed through the palace chamber.
Wei Qi was nearly spent, but she still struggled to sit up. "A'zheng, A'zheng, is it a girl?"
"Yes, yes," A'zheng said, holding the infant as tears streamed down her face. "Your Majesty, it's a princess."
Wei Qi finally let the tension in her heart release and lay back down.
A'zheng brought the infant to her pillow and asked, "Has Your Majesty chosen a name for the little princess?"
Wei Qi opened her eyes. The faint light of dawn shone in from the window, tearing open the silent, black night. An idea stirred in her heart as she looked again at the small, fragile life.
"Xi." She decided on the child's name.
When Wei Zhi heard the Head Eunuch's joyous announcement, she immediately slumped to the ground in the corridor. She curled up against the wall, buried her face in her knees, and the tears she had held back for so long finally fell, turning into great, heaving sobs.
The Head Eunuch didn't know whether to laugh or cry as she patted her on the shoulder. "Your Highness, Your Highness, don't cry anymore. This is a joyous occasion."
"Head Eunuch! Head Eunuch! Sob… C-can I go in and see my sister?" Wei Zhi looked up at the Head Eunuch, her face streaked with tears.
The Head Eunuch nodded and led her inside.
Wei Qi forced her eyes open to see her silly little sister collapsed by the bed, looking at her with tear-filled eyes. She couldn't help but smile. "Aren't you silly? I'm fine…"
"Waaah… Sister…" Wei Zhi started crying again.
Wei Qi helplessly patted her face. "Alright, now. Go home. I'm tired… I want to sleep for a while… Remember to wipe your tears…"
Wei Zhi obediently withdrew, wiped her tears, straightened her official robes, and walked out of the palace. As she passed the Council of State in the outer palace, the ministers, having already received the news, were celebrating. Wei Zhi exchanged congratulations with them.
Composed, she walked out of the palace gates and saw Cui Miao waiting for her in the distance. She took Cui Miao's hand and boarded the carriage. As the carriage began to move, she buried her face in the front of Cui Miao's robes.
The fabric quickly grew damp. Cui Miao reached out, wrapped her arms around her, and gently patted her back in silent comfort.
They returned to the Eldest Princess's residence. Wei Zhi silently pulled Cui Miao into the bedroom. The door closed, and Cui Miao was pressed against it. Wei Zhi threw herself at her, kissing her lips—fiercely, fervently, impatiently, as if she couldn't wait to devour her. Cui Miao responded with equal passion, one hand wrapping around the slender waist beneath the official robes, the other stroking up her spine.
They stumbled into the inner chamber, kissing all the way. The leather belt at her waist was discarded on the floor, followed by the priceless, patterned purple official robe, then Cui Miao's round-collared robe, and finally, their inner garments, scattered in a messy pile. Wei Zhi lay back on the bed, pulling Cui Miao down on top of her, her arms and legs wrapping around her. Cui Miao stroked her hair at the temples and smiled. "Loosen up a bit, Your Highness. I can't move."
So Wei Zhi relaxed a little. Cui Miao took the opportunity to press kisses to her neck, trailing them downward. She held Wei Zhi's thighs, her nose gently brushing the secret place between her legs. Wei Zhi was already a little wet. Cui Miao's warm, soft lips covered the sensitive spot. Wei Zhi flinched, and as if encouraged, Cui Miao began to lick and tease with effort. Wei Zhi unbearably clamped her head between her thighs, but Cui Miao's hands gripped them and opened them without question.
A soft moan escaped Wei Zhi. Her hand fumbled up to Cui Miao's head, found her hairpin, pulled it out in one smooth motion, and tossed it aside. Cui Miao's hair tumbled down. Wei Zhi's fingers threaded into her hair as she bucked her hips, pressing herself against Cui Miao's lips and teeth.
It felt as if a corner of her body had collapsed, swallowing everything in its path. She was falling, losing speed, and she felt an immense panic. She clutched Cui Miao's hair and cried out, "A'miao, I want you…"
Hearing this, Cui Miao rose and held her tightly again, using her own fiery body to chase away the chill from hers. She was wet enough. Cui Miao put two fingers together and slowly entered her. Wei Zhi felt herself being filled. She clung to Cui Miao's shoulders and back, opening herself up, delivering herself into her hands.
"Move, I'm begging you…"
Cui Miao kissed the tears at the corner of her eye. Her fingers began to thrust, not quickly, but each push was deep and heavy, pressing straight into the deepest part of her.
"Don't be afraid, A'zhi. I am here."
"A'miao, A'miao…"
"I am here."
Wei Zhi called her name again and again, and she answered again and again, her voice incomparably steady.
"Faster, A'miao…" Swept up in a tide of passion, Wei Zhi was no longer panicked, no longer in pain. She followed her instincts, chasing pleasure, demanding that the one she loved grant her satisfaction.
Cui Miao was completely obedient, moving fast and slow according to her demands. Then, catching her off guard, she suddenly accelerated, like a sudden squall, working Wei Zhi until she was speechless. Waves of pleasure washed over her, one after another. Wei Zhi cried out in release, pulling Cui Miao's head tightly to her.
Cui Miao gazed tenderly at her dazed, unfocused eyes and lowered her head to kiss the corner of her lips.
"Don't be afraid, A'zhi. I'm always here."
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