Chapter 64: Awkwardness
Song Hemei's voice trailed off with a slight upward inflection, carrying a barely concealed provocation.
Yu Yeqing's expression darkened. Without a word, he straightened up and pulled away from her.
A sudden chill swept over her chest. Song Hemei's mind buzzed, and without thinking, she grabbed at the corner of the blanket to cover herself. But the blanket was too thin and small, and part of it was still pressed down by his body—no matter how she tugged, she could only manage to cover the most essential spots.
In her haste, she cried out in a low voice, "What are you doing!"
Yu Yeqing looked down at her, his gaze neither dodging nor hesitating, as if he could take in every inch of her.
He raised a hand and leisurely shrugged off his already rumpled outer robe. His tone carried an almost matter-of-fact quality: "Wasn't it you who told me to take off my clothes?"
He knelt there, propped up before her. The outer robe slipped across his broad back. Through the movement, the thin undergarments clearly outlined the firm contours of his shoulders and chest. Perhaps because the narrow bed gave him little room to maneuver, he arched his body slightly, his lean waist appearing and disappearing with each motion. If one were to look any lower… that truly would be presumptuous.
Song Hemei swallowed hard, suddenly struck by how toweringly large he seemed in this cramped bed of hers—as though he could envelop her entirely, leaving no chance of escape.
Her breathing turned subtly uneven. "Then couldn't you just step aside to undress? Why did you have to lift the blanket like that?"
Yu Yeqing stripped off the outer robe and draped it over her front. "I've already seen everything. You don't need to hide like this."
The buzzing in Song Hemei's head grew louder. Without a second thought, she raised her voice to cut him off. "What nonsense are you talking!"
"You should realize this," Yu Yeqing said, his brows and eyes full of natural conviction. "If I hadn't looked, how could I have bathed you and dried you off?"
Song Hemei swallowed again. Could she really not know that?
"Do you have to bring it up and lay it out like that? Just because you saw once, does that mean you can look whenever you want, day or night?"
Embarrassment and anger surged again. Song Hemei stiffened her face. "Do not look at what is improper. You shouldn't be staring at me right now."
Yu Yeqing's brow lifted slightly. Slowly, he withdrew his gaze and met her eyes. "What are you shy about? You don't want me to see."
His blunt words struck her like a blow, making her scalp tingle. She gritted her teeth. "What do you think? I'm a proper young lady from a respectable family. I can't just let you do as you please."
She quickly looked away, wrapped the oversized outer robe around herself, and then raised a hand to shove at Yu Yeqing. "Move aside now."
No matter how big the outer robe was, it could only cover the front, not the back. She had no idea how much of her back Yu Yeqing had already seen, but she hurried behind the folding screen before finally putting the robe on properly.
Summer clothes were thin and light, and an outer robe alone was only fit to be admired from a distance, not up close. If she only wore this, anyone who saw might think she deliberately meant to add a certain allure.
She walked over to the small couch and picked up the clothes Suhui had brought in. Without thinking, she glanced back.
From behind the screen, she could see Yu Yeqing still half-kneeling on the bed. The sight of the rumpled bedding and the disheveled man was more than she could bear to continue watching. She slipped around to the side door and into the adjoining room.
The fire in the stove was banked with ash but not fully out, and the water above still held some warmth. Fortunately, it was summer, so using this water for bathing would not feel too cold.
But as she washed, Song Hemei's heart could not help growing chaotic. It was her own hands, yet every place they touched made her strangely uneasy, unable to stop herself from imagining how Yu Yeqing must have moved last night.
When she cleaned further down, it was somewhat uncomfortable. Even three years ago, she had never endured so many times in one stretch. She was not used to it, and even the sensation of touching herself felt different from before.
The water wasn't even completely hot, yet it felt more scorching than hot water, unsettling her spirit.
She finished washing hastily, added some charcoal, refilled the kettle and set it back on the stove, then changed into clean clothes. She looked at herself in the mirror for a long time. Perhaps it was the guilt that made her feel that anyone could take one look at her and know what she had been through.
She took two deep breaths, checked herself again, and could only go out like this. But as soon as she returned to the main room, she saw Yu Yeqing sitting on the armchair from the night before, still in his underclothes.
"Why did you come out?" she asked.
Of all the places to sit, he had to pick that chair.
Yu Yeqing looked up at her. "The bedding needs to be changed again."
Song Hemei forced herself to stay calm. "I know. You don't need to worry about it. Just stay put and don't wander around—I'll go find you some clothes."
If lying on the bed had felt awkward, now that she was properly dressed and they faced each other with a semblance of decorum, the awkwardness only intensified. After those secret intimacies, everything now felt like a disingenuous pretense of propriety.
She averted her gaze and walked quickly to the door. Just as she pushed it open, a voice came from behind her. "Whose clothes?"
Song Hemei didn't turn around, but she felt a little relieved at the question.
So it bothered him too. Otherwise, she might have really thought he was completely indifferent.
She didn't look back, and deliberately said, "Didn't I say? From the brother who's been taking your place all these years. If you don't want to go back in your underclothes, then just wait quietly."
She didn't wait for his answer. She pushed the door open, glanced around outside, then stepped over the threshold and closed the door behind her.
The courtyard was quiet. She couldn't hear Lianzhu or the others—they must have been taken away. That meant now that she was out, she didn't have to worry about anyone barging into her room.
In truth, when she first left home, although the Song family's wealth had been plundered, the maids and servants in her courtyard had not been reduced. Every time she returned home, it was still as it had been before she married.
Later, when the household began cutting expenses, the first to be targeted were the people in her yard. It was her sister-in-law who first raised the issue: since Song Hemei was away following Shao Wen'ang to Linzhou, her courtyard only needed daily cleaning by a few servants and maids.
That decision was bound to offend people—both Song Hemei as a married-out daughter and the servants who lost their jobs and would resent the change. At first, the authority over household finances lay with her mother, but when the staff reduction began, it was handed over to her sister-in-law.
She saw it clearly: They were making her sister-in-law the villain.
Sometimes she thought about how the situation was the same for every married woman. When Madam Zhang guarded against her and tried to discipline her in the Shao residence, wasn't her sister-in-law treated just the same?
When everything was peaceful, her mother and elder brother could dote on her sister-in-law like a daughter, but when trouble came, the first to be pushed aside was the daughter-in-law, and the second was the daughter.
Song Hemei walked all the way to her third brother's courtyard. Among the few men in the family, her little brother was the one she trusted most.
Sending a servant boy was unreliable—servants had loose tongues, and rumors would fly. Going to her elder brother was even more inappropriate. First, he had already dealt harshly with Yu Yeqing once. Second, her elder brother's belongings were all managed by his wife; asking for clothes would inevitably pass through her sister-in-law's hands.
Jilang had always listened to her since childhood. In these past few years, his path to the imperial examinations had been cut off. After an initial period of depression, he had come to accept it and had tried to learn bookkeeping. But the family's resources kept shrinking, and her elder brother could handle all the accounts with one hand tied behind his back—there was no work left for Jilang.
What's more, their father could not bear to see him fiddling with an abacus or account books. His long-cherished hopes had been dashed, and he was the one who suffered most. Now with his illness, seeing Jilang at the accounts would only add fuel to the fire.
And so Song Jilang had plenty of free time. Most days he stayed in his own courtyard, though no one really knew what he did to amuse himself.
Song Hemei arrived at his courtyard without needing an announcement. When she reached the center of the yard, she saw him practicing boxing. As soon as he sensed her approach, he stopped and ran over happily. "Second Sister, when did you get back?"
Song Jilang had grown very tall these past few years, already taller than their elder brother. Standing before him, she had to tilt her head up slightly. But looking closely now, he was still a bit shorter than Yu Yeqing.
Seeing the sweat on his forehead, Song Hemei took out a handkerchief and wiped it for him. "I came back yesterday. I only saw elder brother and Mother, then went back to rest."
Song Jilang didn't seem to notice anything amiss. Happily, he invited her inside to sit. "I was really sad when you left last time, Second Sister. If I'd known you'd be back so soon, I wouldn't have cried so much."
Song Hemei couldn't help but laugh. "You're so grown up, and still crying?"
She followed him a few steps, then slowed. When it came down to it, she found it hard to speak.
Her steps lagged until Song Jilang noticed and stopped, turning to look back at her. She forced herself to ask. "I still have some things to take care of, so I won't go in and sit. That… have you had any new clothes made lately? If so, could you give me a set?"
Song Jilang parted his lips, staring at her in surprise, as if her words had stunned him. After a long pause, he still agreed. "Alright. I'll go get them right away."
He turned and hurried a few steps, then stopped abruptly. After a moment's hesitation, he slowly turned back and came to her side.
"Second Sister, do you need underclothes? And… undershorts?"
His blunt question only made it harder for Song Hemei to answer.
If it had just been for a set of outer clothes, it wouldn't have been that suspicious. But this one detail of his tore away the thin veil that might have hidden the truth.
If she said yes, then only a child would not think twice.
But if she said no, she thought about the clothes that had been soaked—she couldn't let Yu Yeqing leave wearing them.
Helpless, she met her brother's gaze and braced herself to nod.
An awkward feeling suffused her whole body. Song Jilang acknowledged her with a sound and turned back to fetch the clothes. Though he didn't ask anything, Song Hemei knew that even if he didn't catch on now, after she left, once he had a moment to think it over alone, he would figure it out.
In no time at all, Song Jilang returned with the clothes. Song Hemei felt she would suffocate if she stood in front of him a moment longer. She quickly took the bundle and hurried away.
She felt she was practically fleeing. All the way back to her own courtyard, she pushed open the door and entered her room, only then letting out a slow breath of relief.
Yu Yeqing was still sitting in the armchair, unmoved. He raised an eyebrow at her. "Is there a wolf chasing you?"
At these words, anger flared in Song Hemei. This was something that concerned both of them, yet she was the only one left in such an awkward state.
She stepped forward and thrust the clothes into his arms. "Spare me your sarcastic remarks. Go change quickly."
Yu Yeqing didn't move immediately. He looked down at the clean clothes in his arms, paused, and stubbornly asked again, "Whose are they?"
Get instant access to all chapters now.
Post a Comment